What A Feeling

[purplerose824]

Why do I feel like this?  I just want to sit here and cry my eyes out.  What do people think of me?  I feel like a big cry baby.  I just have this emotion that wants to be let out.  Last night I wanted to just scream for no particular reason.  No its not PMS.  I just haven't let out a good scream in forever.  I want to hit a wall.  Or hit someone

Comments

guy here

[reborn1995]

i could be completely wrong about this, but it's at least possible that the feeling is purely chemical. my wife struggled with this for 2-3 years (in fact, probably still isn't over it). She had this general sense of utter dread and despair that actually wasn't rationally attached to any particular event or thing in her life. But human nature--she had to find a reason. So she looked for any and all things in her life that could produce this. So when i talked to her, she was like really upset about this or that--she didn't like what she had or hadn't accomplished, she didn't like her body, she didn't like her daily routine, she didn't like something between us, she didn't like her own attitude, etc. etc. But when she cleared her head and really thought about it, even though it was true she didn't like all those things, those weren't the real catalysts for all her dread and despair. She went to a couple doctors and yep--purely chemical. She got a prescription, she took it, in a couple weeks she was fine.

or, another theory, maybe you haven't let yourself really feel the way you feel about all these individual matters. maybe you didn't "have time," or it wasn't the "right" time, or you just didn't want to hurt a little bit for each and every thing you mentioned. so you are emotionally exhausted because you can't keep all that dammed up forever. maybe if you did just set aside some time to bust loose about it, then afterwards you'd feel a lot better and even clear enough to try to deal with each one.

i don't know--both theories could be false. i just wanted to try and offer some thoughts.

guy

Re: guy here

[purplerose824]

Oh my gosh thank you soooo much. I feel that a little of both theories apply to me. But it helps me to know that someone else has felt the same way and understands. I'm not alone. Today is not as bad as it was on Friday. Today its almost peaceful but not quite. :)