update on life
hmm... ok.. heres my update. friday, was in a bad mood. went to the doctors. found out i have a cyst. might have a blood disease. matt came over. that made me happy. til he actually got here and pretty much ignored me the whole time. he spent the whole time on the phone, or talking to my sisters. jill and laura showed up. matt asked them to go to a party with him. laura didnt want to. jill got pissed. made a scene. left. i wasnt up for partying. matt left. i got upset. realized a lot of shit. (hence the last post). went to bed. woke up. maya called. asked if i wanted to hang out with her jill and laura. didnt want to see jill but wanted to see maya. so i said sure. got ready. called jill. i could have sworn i heard matt in the background. got upset. jill said shes just going to her apartment and didnt want to get me. got really upset. cried a whole bunch. cut more. called emma. she came to rescue me. went to here house. hung out. got to see emily and devin. that was good. i missed them. jill called. hung up on her. matt called. hung up on him. matt called again. ignored it. he left a nasty message. jill kept calling. i kept ignoring her. went to olive garden. emmas friend came over. i got really sick. im way allergic to cats and emma has 2. went home around 9:30ish. went to bed. sunday woke up and spent all day in bed getting better. was supposed to hang out with maya. something went wrong. never hung out with maya. sunday night i came online. a boy got mad at me. started making threating comments. i blocked him. he texted me. threaten to ruin my life. im freaked cuz hes on meds and has been in a mental institute. plus he knows where i live. he hasnt done anything yet. but ive been walking around with a hammer in my hand everywhere i go now. if he tries anything im gonna get a restraining order. monday. spent at home lounging. tried to call matt to talk to him. he never called me back. called again and left a message saying "i take it your not going to call me back. so i love you and have fun in north carolina" (hes moving there sometime this week he says). went to bed in immense pain in my legs. today woke up and couldnt move my legs they heart so bad. finally was able to move them got out of bed and been on a constant go since. my legs have gotten worse. i had to squat to clean my neices room. dont know whats up with my legs. i have to go back to the doctors tomorrow to find out whats up and to get the results for my blood work. so yeah theres my update. doesnt it sound like the greatest life ever?!?!
i have a trip to new york coming up in late november. me, kelly1, and danielle. danielles mom said shed pay for all of danielles part as her birthday gift. kelly1 has a job and so it will be easier for her to start saving up. as for me i need to get a job. im gonna ask my mom if i can get christmas money a little early to go to the trip. thats about $200. then im gonna have about $100 this month. so thats $300. im gonna try and save up $600 for this trip (including flight, hotel, and spending money) so im about half way there. which is really good. now i just need to get a job to get the rest of the money! wish me luck!
so i realized something today as i was driving home from taking my neices to daycare. i passed by one of my sisters old apartments. and i remembered her picking me up in her old clanky car driving to her apartment listening to 4non blondes and being so happy to be important enough to my sister to have her let me watch her son. (this was when bryce was about 3.. hes now 7). it totally brought a smile to face and i started to cry. now i get to live with my sister. and even tho at times i hate her guts cuz she takes advantage of me, i still love her because shes my big sister. i used to idolize her. i wanted to be just like her. andi was sitting down listening to her and katy talk and i started crying cuz i idolized them both soo much when i was younger and now here i am, living with them. being equal to them. im thier sister, thier roomate, thier best friend. not just the little girl who watches their kids and goes thru thier clothes whenever i can (even tho i still do that).
*My.forehead.is.still.bleeding.from.the.thorns.i.used.to.wear.Im.left.alone.and.im.beaten.But.this.cross.i.choose.to.bear*
i have a trip to new york coming up in late november. me, kelly1, and danielle. danielles mom said shed pay for all of danielles part as her birthday gift. kelly1 has a job and so it will be easier for her to start saving up. as for me i need to get a job. im gonna ask my mom if i can get christmas money a little early to go to the trip. thats about $200. then im gonna have about $100 this month. so thats $300. im gonna try and save up $600 for this trip (including flight, hotel, and spending money) so im about half way there. which is really good. now i just need to get a job to get the rest of the money! wish me luck!
so i realized something today as i was driving home from taking my neices to daycare. i passed by one of my sisters old apartments. and i remembered her picking me up in her old clanky car driving to her apartment listening to 4non blondes and being so happy to be important enough to my sister to have her let me watch her son. (this was when bryce was about 3.. hes now 7). it totally brought a smile to face and i started to cry. now i get to live with my sister. and even tho at times i hate her guts cuz she takes advantage of me, i still love her because shes my big sister. i used to idolize her. i wanted to be just like her. andi was sitting down listening to her and katy talk and i started crying cuz i idolized them both soo much when i was younger and now here i am, living with them. being equal to them. im thier sister, thier roomate, thier best friend. not just the little girl who watches their kids and goes thru thier clothes whenever i can (even tho i still do that).
*My.forehead.is.still.bleeding.from.the.thorns.i.used.to.wear.Im.left.alone.and.im.beaten.But.this.cross.i.choose.to.bear*