creation and destruction
There has been a lot of death and heartache around me this last week.
My boss's beloved dog died suddenly of liver failure.
A long-distance friend sent an email that his mother passed away.
The husband of a woman I work with came home from a two week business trip to the Philippines and announced he met his soul-mate there and is breaking up their marriage to be with this woman. Who is, (surprise) scheduled to come to Chicago on a work visa next month. Any bets on why she picked the guy from Chicago?
Ok, I am deeply and profoundly cynical, but spare me. This guy is getting played like a cheap guitar and his wife is the one who is suffering for it. And all of us around her are heart broken for her, too. At least three of us in her immediate office know exactly what she is going through, because we have been there ourselves.
What is fascinating about her is her willingness to face the pain. No alcohol, no anger, no cheap sex (my drug of choice) she is simply and purely miserable and not doing anything to dull it. It is probably very healthy, but it is disturbing, nevertheless. No one really likes looking into the abyss.
It is the abyss I see when I look at her. That dreaded reminder that nothing is ever certain, that life can change completely in an instant, and we really have no control over it. A wayward bus. A fatal illness. A tragic accident. The spouse, friend, family member who suddenly reveals a personality, a habit, a callousness that you have never met before. And the whole safe comfortable world we build on the belief that tomorrow will be much like today goes swirling into the abyss.
From my own multiple encounters, I am more comfortable with the abyss than most. Paganism also gives me a philosophical basis from which to understand it.
Destruction and creation are two sides of the same process. Nothing new can be created without destroying what went before it. Even life itself is built out of elements created by the supernova of the first generation of stars. They lived hot, died young and made life based on carbon possible by created carbon itself.
So I keep telling her, she will be ok, that happiness is possible after such a tragedy. And she consoles herself with what she knows of my relationship with R, that I am happier than I have ever been. Of course she doesn't know *everything* but that's ok. What are the chances that she would hook up with a sex offender, too? LOL
My boss's beloved dog died suddenly of liver failure.
A long-distance friend sent an email that his mother passed away.
The husband of a woman I work with came home from a two week business trip to the Philippines and announced he met his soul-mate there and is breaking up their marriage to be with this woman. Who is, (surprise) scheduled to come to Chicago on a work visa next month. Any bets on why she picked the guy from Chicago?
Ok, I am deeply and profoundly cynical, but spare me. This guy is getting played like a cheap guitar and his wife is the one who is suffering for it. And all of us around her are heart broken for her, too. At least three of us in her immediate office know exactly what she is going through, because we have been there ourselves.
What is fascinating about her is her willingness to face the pain. No alcohol, no anger, no cheap sex (my drug of choice) she is simply and purely miserable and not doing anything to dull it. It is probably very healthy, but it is disturbing, nevertheless. No one really likes looking into the abyss.
It is the abyss I see when I look at her. That dreaded reminder that nothing is ever certain, that life can change completely in an instant, and we really have no control over it. A wayward bus. A fatal illness. A tragic accident. The spouse, friend, family member who suddenly reveals a personality, a habit, a callousness that you have never met before. And the whole safe comfortable world we build on the belief that tomorrow will be much like today goes swirling into the abyss.
From my own multiple encounters, I am more comfortable with the abyss than most. Paganism also gives me a philosophical basis from which to understand it.
Destruction and creation are two sides of the same process. Nothing new can be created without destroying what went before it. Even life itself is built out of elements created by the supernova of the first generation of stars. They lived hot, died young and made life based on carbon possible by created carbon itself.
So I keep telling her, she will be ok, that happiness is possible after such a tragedy. And she consoles herself with what she knows of my relationship with R, that I am happier than I have ever been. Of course she doesn't know *everything* but that's ok. What are the chances that she would hook up with a sex offender, too? LOL