On old friends and lost loves
So I'm at Courtney's house in Augusta for the weekend. I'm so happy we got back in touch. It's like nothing has changed. I know we've had issues before, but I love that girl...I'll never forget our days living in our very first apartment together, or all the fun times we had before she left Athens. Its a great feeling to have old friends back in your life.
In other news, I'm not liking school so much. Yes its hard and a lot of work, but that part is ok. Its the fact that I cannot motivate myself to care about my classes. I know its the first year and our core classes are excruciating, but I still question this choice every day. I'm not sure its right for me. I will try to finish the semester and then go from there.
Brian and I have moved on from whatever the hell we were into a solid friendship. My friends still hate him, still think he's using me and they might be right. But he swears up and down that he will never leave me as a friend and that he won't walk away from me. And so far, he's been good on that promise. We're closer than we ever have been.
But of course I'm still hopelessly in love with him and probably always will be. And he doesn't love me. And it hurts...a lot. When Sara and Skeebs and Katie are lecturing me about how bad this will turn out, I know in my heart that they are right...because he will break my heart, even more so than it is now. But I can't walk away. I wish I could...god do I wish I could. It is so hard for people on the outside to understand the bond we have and the strange force that keeps pulling me to him. I just hope I make it out of this with my heart somewhat intact.
Ok, time to go be social. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me through all of this. It means more to me than you'll ever know.
In other news, I'm not liking school so much. Yes its hard and a lot of work, but that part is ok. Its the fact that I cannot motivate myself to care about my classes. I know its the first year and our core classes are excruciating, but I still question this choice every day. I'm not sure its right for me. I will try to finish the semester and then go from there.
Brian and I have moved on from whatever the hell we were into a solid friendship. My friends still hate him, still think he's using me and they might be right. But he swears up and down that he will never leave me as a friend and that he won't walk away from me. And so far, he's been good on that promise. We're closer than we ever have been.
But of course I'm still hopelessly in love with him and probably always will be. And he doesn't love me. And it hurts...a lot. When Sara and Skeebs and Katie are lecturing me about how bad this will turn out, I know in my heart that they are right...because he will break my heart, even more so than it is now. But I can't walk away. I wish I could...god do I wish I could. It is so hard for people on the outside to understand the bond we have and the strange force that keeps pulling me to him. I just hope I make it out of this with my heart somewhat intact.
Ok, time to go be social. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me through all of this. It means more to me than you'll ever know.