What can I say, work is slow.
Prior to my 3rd year of college, I had no idea how to study (maybe that's why it took 6 to finish). I'd never really needed to. I'd found that if I showed up to class and did the homework, I had everything I needed to get an A or B. I didn't understand cramming, cliff's notes, or highlighter pens.
As the classes got harder, and the material was more raw - less chewed up and regurgitated for my brain to more readily swallow - I learned how to take chunks of data and break them down myself. How to reorganize them, maybe make a diagram or chart so I could more readily find patterns.
I didn't realize that I'd held onto a bit of disdain for the process. Any kid who breezed through 12 years of school will tell you that they felt a little superior being the first one to hand in the test, the one who'd barely bothered to edit that essay with a big red A on top. Initially, it's humbling to become 'merely moral' all of a sudden (and let's be honest, it's hard not to clutch that ribbon of success while the finer points of social joy & peer integration leave you in the dust). And in this case, 'all of a sudden' was.. um...12 years of no longer really studying hard. *gulp*
Maybe it's a bit of impatience with myself (why should I have to study? forget that I have no lecture, no syllabus...), a bit of feeling stupid for having to review the material this many times in order for it to take hold in my brain long enough to pass the test. It's interesting to finally acknowledge that impatience - maybe now I can stop hampering myself and get this done.
As the classes got harder, and the material was more raw - less chewed up and regurgitated for my brain to more readily swallow - I learned how to take chunks of data and break them down myself. How to reorganize them, maybe make a diagram or chart so I could more readily find patterns.
I didn't realize that I'd held onto a bit of disdain for the process. Any kid who breezed through 12 years of school will tell you that they felt a little superior being the first one to hand in the test, the one who'd barely bothered to edit that essay with a big red A on top. Initially, it's humbling to become 'merely moral' all of a sudden (and let's be honest, it's hard not to clutch that ribbon of success while the finer points of social joy & peer integration leave you in the dust). And in this case, 'all of a sudden' was.. um...12 years of no longer really studying hard. *gulp*
Maybe it's a bit of impatience with myself (why should I have to study? forget that I have no lecture, no syllabus...), a bit of feeling stupid for having to review the material this many times in order for it to take hold in my brain long enough to pass the test. It's interesting to finally acknowledge that impatience - maybe now I can stop hampering myself and get this done.