Fun and Fellowship
The RUF leadership retreat was incredible. I didn't think it was possible to grow so much and connect so closely with people in just 24 hours. I love all the other people on Core Group. A lot of them I didn't know beforehand, but now I feel as though I know all of them enough to call them my friends and not just acquaintances. I was especially pleased to meet Drew, who wrote that e-mail that I posted. He and I are also going to lead the discussion on the third chapter of the book Core Group will be studying.
Last night was all about fellowship, having fun, and getting to know each other. We played these awesome games. One was called Signs, and the other was the Couch game. They were SO much fun.
This morning, we gathered together, prayed, discussed ministry and how RUF goes about doing ministry, assigned people to lead discussions for the book, assigned prayer groups, and then we took an hour to go off by ourselves, in solitude, to spend time worshipping God and praying and reflecting.
I figured out one of the primary motivations behind a lot of my sins.
I want people to like me.
That's huge! I struggle the most with vanity, pride, and being judgmental. I constantly want to be better than others: prettier, smarter, more eloquent, less sinful, more popular, etc. All because I want people to like me.
I hide my sin, my brokenness, my struggles...anything that might keep people from liking me.
Wanting people to like me in and of itself is not a sin, but the way I manifest it in my life constantly is. No wonder I frequently feel alone or isolated. I'm so focused on getting people to like me that I stop being myself, or I'm only part of myself, that I start to forget who I am.
God doesn't just know who I am; He knows who I am meant to be. That's another thing that really resonated with me. I'm meant for so much more than who I am. It's like...this is a slightly arrogant comparison, but it's a good model. In The Last Battle, the final book in The Chronicles of Narnia, the new Narnia is so much better than the old one. I'm like the old Narnia. I'm a decent human being by earthly standards, but by heavenly standards, I am meant to be so much more, like the new Narnia.
Anyway, it was a good weekend. My feminism totally came up, on multiple occasions. I enjoy discussing it, and I'm open to other persepctives and to criticism, as long as it's done respectfully.
I think it's going to be a good senior year in RUF.
Last night was all about fellowship, having fun, and getting to know each other. We played these awesome games. One was called Signs, and the other was the Couch game. They were SO much fun.
This morning, we gathered together, prayed, discussed ministry and how RUF goes about doing ministry, assigned people to lead discussions for the book, assigned prayer groups, and then we took an hour to go off by ourselves, in solitude, to spend time worshipping God and praying and reflecting.
I figured out one of the primary motivations behind a lot of my sins.
I want people to like me.
That's huge! I struggle the most with vanity, pride, and being judgmental. I constantly want to be better than others: prettier, smarter, more eloquent, less sinful, more popular, etc. All because I want people to like me.
I hide my sin, my brokenness, my struggles...anything that might keep people from liking me.
Wanting people to like me in and of itself is not a sin, but the way I manifest it in my life constantly is. No wonder I frequently feel alone or isolated. I'm so focused on getting people to like me that I stop being myself, or I'm only part of myself, that I start to forget who I am.
God doesn't just know who I am; He knows who I am meant to be. That's another thing that really resonated with me. I'm meant for so much more than who I am. It's like...this is a slightly arrogant comparison, but it's a good model. In The Last Battle, the final book in The Chronicles of Narnia, the new Narnia is so much better than the old one. I'm like the old Narnia. I'm a decent human being by earthly standards, but by heavenly standards, I am meant to be so much more, like the new Narnia.
Anyway, it was a good weekend. My feminism totally came up, on multiple occasions. I enjoy discussing it, and I'm open to other persepctives and to criticism, as long as it's done respectfully.
I think it's going to be a good senior year in RUF.