Homesickness rant :p
It's bee raining consecutively for a while. The flat is empty since PK is in glassgow with his bro, flatmate A (Tariq) is in London with family, and flatmate B (Mahisen) just never really come out and socialise :p flatmate C (Toshi) has moved out 1+ month ago.
I'm feeling homesick. Not because I'm alone in the flat, but because I started thinking about life, and the future. I can't go on longer in this foreign country. UK is a lonely country by nature, it's windy winter and short daytime is punishing to individuals, and all we do now is just carry on surviving.
Next year I'll be alone. No more PK. No Jeff either (haha yeah I have pathetically little number of friends :p But they're all good friends!). I don't want to work here for the sake of working. I thought I can survive alone. I can, to a certain extent, but it's doing me in slowly. Southend is good. I get along well with the guys in the flat, but it'll all end in 6 months. And I'll be off again, and I can't bear that thought.
We were just talking about how nice our flat people are, because though we mind our own business and never really hang around much, at least we chat and have fun whilst doing it. Other flats are very isolated. The occupants are either mainly locums who come and go, or simply don't even care who's next door. That's a depressing concept, and I felt scared that my 'luck' with good flats would eventually run out.
(Well, I've been blessed, truly, all these years. At the moment I'm scared stiff, but who am I but a human. I would one day pick myself up, and truly depend on God, and these things wouldn't even bother me anymore, because God's blessing never dries)
Hence my homesickness.
Here we are surviving on en-suite room with total area of 4mx5m. A tiny TV in a small common room where the heater is always switched off by the cleaner, and the TV is so high up the wall anyway that we have to look 90˚ to the side and upwards to watch anything. We gave up thinking that we even have a TV at all. A common kitchen, the only source of warmth.
It's comfortable enough in the flat, but the thought of living a nomad life every year, living in little rooms with no furniture to your name, new faces, new work, new church... it's tiring. Seeing Toshi now living in a house, full of warmth and homeliness made me slightly envious.
This isn't life! I'm gonna be 30 in a few years time, and I'm tired of living like a student all my life! I want a place I can call my own home. I can afford it, for goodness sake!
I'm feeling homesick. Not because I'm alone in the flat, but because I started thinking about life, and the future. I can't go on longer in this foreign country. UK is a lonely country by nature, it's windy winter and short daytime is punishing to individuals, and all we do now is just carry on surviving.
Next year I'll be alone. No more PK. No Jeff either (haha yeah I have pathetically little number of friends :p But they're all good friends!). I don't want to work here for the sake of working. I thought I can survive alone. I can, to a certain extent, but it's doing me in slowly. Southend is good. I get along well with the guys in the flat, but it'll all end in 6 months. And I'll be off again, and I can't bear that thought.
We were just talking about how nice our flat people are, because though we mind our own business and never really hang around much, at least we chat and have fun whilst doing it. Other flats are very isolated. The occupants are either mainly locums who come and go, or simply don't even care who's next door. That's a depressing concept, and I felt scared that my 'luck' with good flats would eventually run out.
(Well, I've been blessed, truly, all these years. At the moment I'm scared stiff, but who am I but a human. I would one day pick myself up, and truly depend on God, and these things wouldn't even bother me anymore, because God's blessing never dries)
Hence my homesickness.
Here we are surviving on en-suite room with total area of 4mx5m. A tiny TV in a small common room where the heater is always switched off by the cleaner, and the TV is so high up the wall anyway that we have to look 90˚ to the side and upwards to watch anything. We gave up thinking that we even have a TV at all. A common kitchen, the only source of warmth.
It's comfortable enough in the flat, but the thought of living a nomad life every year, living in little rooms with no furniture to your name, new faces, new work, new church... it's tiring. Seeing Toshi now living in a house, full of warmth and homeliness made me slightly envious.
This isn't life! I'm gonna be 30 in a few years time, and I'm tired of living like a student all my life! I want a place I can call my own home. I can afford it, for goodness sake!