a little sad...
i am not sure what is wrong with me today. i am just feeling a little sad. or depressed of some sort. there is not much reason for me to feel this way but i do. i wish i knew how to control it. i went to blu last night and she helped but i am not sure of what the problem really is. i know it is a combination of things. and then me and my boyfriend got in a little argument last night. it was weird. i did not even go home for lunch either. is my feelings getting in the way. are me and rick supposed to get along?? or be together??? live together??? was it to soon??? i am not even sure on why i have these questions. they just appeared last night as i laid in bed thinking. we actually went to bed seperately and without saying anything to each other. i am not sure that was exactly the smart thing. but right now i just feel so sad. i feel so stressed. i feel angry.. i feel depressed. i feel my heart just sinking. it is weird. i wish i can put into words exactly how i am feeling and maybe i can help myself. but since i cant put into words what i am feeling i just am here. i just know right now i feel like crying. am i going to go back into that deep depression again that i once had last year. will i get better. or did i even get better. or did i just mask whatever i was feeling and right now so much stuff is going on in my life that the mask is wearing thin. i am not even sure that i did get better now that i think about it. who knows. but i guess i can just work on everything that is going in my life. but right now i am not sure on how to do it. but i can say this right now i have the support of great friends. so maybe it can be a better way for me to work on this. who knows...............