(no subject)
I can’t even
Cry
You spit lies and you
Kiss lies
Hug lies
And stand staring at me
With lies pouring out of your eyes
And sinking into me, my clothes, my skin
My mouth open resounding
Hollow echoes of silence
Choked hurt
My open jaw filling and overflowing with the bitter taste of not my own tears, but of your drowning lies
The gurgling never quite hits your ears
You sympathize
Like
I were in my casket
Ready to be martyred and pitied: another broken heart
And as you kiss my cheek in a
Less than sordid farewell
Your lips sear into my skin
The last
And the only thing
I can ever feel towards you again.
Promises to myself:
Never again will i ignore my strongest instincts in order to do what seems to be the easiest thing. My mistakes will forever be shackled to me.
im bringing it back...
10 Goals for the Remainder of the Year:
-Have an affair ( relationship no one else knows about)* (never again)
-Start a fight club* (hehe)
-Crash a Party
-Hit a film festival
-Start a band* (get this: the Eunuchcorns!!)
-Learn a new instrument
-Attend a demolition derby
-buy some cowboy boots* (durr, you've probably seen me in them)
-get a job in Philadelphia, preferably something involving music
*- already accomplished
the best way for me to get through the end of this semester is to focus on my work wholly, well, after today, i need some excitement soon. i cant wait for winter break.
im starting to think that no one will ever understand me.
oh well.
my awesome awesome roomate bought Rescue Me last week, and we watched it tonight-- very amusing show. i dont really watch T.V, anymore.
okay, lemme get out all my complaints in one sentence, so i dont keep ruining this post: HE'S A LIAR, I DON'T HAVE A JOB, I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY WORK, I NEED ANOTHER LOAN, I WANNA SEE MY FAMILY, I WANNA EAT REAL FOOD, I WANT PEOPLE TO STOP INTERPRETING ALL MY ACTIONS AS BEING SOMETHING NEGATIVE, I WANT MY MIND ERASED OF THE PAST 3 MONTHS, I NEED TO REGISTER FOR CLASSES, I WANNA SEE MY FRIENDS (MY REAL FRIENDS) MORE OFTEN, I NEED ART SUPPLIES, I NEED TO STOP SMOKING, I NEED TO STOP THINKING I CAN RELY ON ANYONE BUT MYSELF TO BE TRUSTWORTHY & HONEST & OPEN TO ME.
actually, i think im done with this post.
Cry
You spit lies and you
Kiss lies
Hug lies
And stand staring at me
With lies pouring out of your eyes
And sinking into me, my clothes, my skin
My mouth open resounding
Hollow echoes of silence
Choked hurt
My open jaw filling and overflowing with the bitter taste of not my own tears, but of your drowning lies
The gurgling never quite hits your ears
You sympathize
Like
I were in my casket
Ready to be martyred and pitied: another broken heart
And as you kiss my cheek in a
Less than sordid farewell
Your lips sear into my skin
The last
And the only thing
I can ever feel towards you again.
Promises to myself:
Never again will i ignore my strongest instincts in order to do what seems to be the easiest thing. My mistakes will forever be shackled to me.
im bringing it back...
10 Goals for the Remainder of the Year:
-Have an affair ( relationship no one else knows about)* (never again)
-Start a fight club* (hehe)
-Crash a Party
-Hit a film festival
-Start a band* (get this: the Eunuchcorns!!)
-Learn a new instrument
-Attend a demolition derby
-buy some cowboy boots* (durr, you've probably seen me in them)
-get a job in Philadelphia, preferably something involving music
*- already accomplished
the best way for me to get through the end of this semester is to focus on my work wholly, well, after today, i need some excitement soon. i cant wait for winter break.
im starting to think that no one will ever understand me.
oh well.
my awesome awesome roomate bought Rescue Me last week, and we watched it tonight-- very amusing show. i dont really watch T.V, anymore.
okay, lemme get out all my complaints in one sentence, so i dont keep ruining this post: HE'S A LIAR, I DON'T HAVE A JOB, I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY WORK, I NEED ANOTHER LOAN, I WANNA SEE MY FAMILY, I WANNA EAT REAL FOOD, I WANT PEOPLE TO STOP INTERPRETING ALL MY ACTIONS AS BEING SOMETHING NEGATIVE, I WANT MY MIND ERASED OF THE PAST 3 MONTHS, I NEED TO REGISTER FOR CLASSES, I WANNA SEE MY FRIENDS (MY REAL FRIENDS) MORE OFTEN, I NEED ART SUPPLIES, I NEED TO STOP SMOKING, I NEED TO STOP THINKING I CAN RELY ON ANYONE BUT MYSELF TO BE TRUSTWORTHY & HONEST & OPEN TO ME.
actually, i think im done with this post.