Lost
I lost a good friend. I lost control. I lost myself. I almost lost the love of my life. So much has happened. I feel like shit, I feel sad, I feel distraught, I felt not myself. Everything is changing. I gave up drinking to stay with the one I love. If it meant giving up an arm, a leg, an eye, I'd do that too. Times are a changing, I'm changing and it's for the better. I want to be more connected. To myself to family to my friends and to hope. I feel like I've lost a little bit with everyone and I want that to come back. Everything is starting to fall into place and I like the way it's falling. I'm still sad and distraught over losing such a friend but my sadness will never bring him back. It shows me how precious life really is and I must not put myself in jeaopardy or anyone else if I would like to continue living this sweet life. I hurt inside knowing I caused someone so much pain, but I'm working on destroying the pain that i brought. Life is hard but it makes life a lot easier when your surronded by people who love and care for you and I most definetly am. I love everyone.I'm sorry to all those friends I've lost touch with. I'm sorry to my family for putting them thru some hard times and I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart Hope. You know I love you so much and I'll never trample your heart like that again.