[COMPLETE]

[genesissy]

Who: Angeal, Genesis (FF!Cloud and Aerith for a bit).
When: After Aerith's post about finding Angeal.
Where: The church.
Rating: PG to PG-13.
Warnings: Emoooo.
Summary: After inhabiting Genesis' body for the body-switch event, Angeal made the mistake of taking off the bracelet that keeps Genesis... well, sane. He lost his temper and killed Zack,

Comments

[pridefulness]

It wasn't so much that Aerith had gone looking for Angeal, as it was that she had found him. Well, she had been keeping her eyes open, hoping to spot the SOLDIER, but--actually running into him, that had just been chance. She had only been out and about in an attempt to clear her mind, to get some fresh air where none was offered, and then... well, there he was. There she was.

There they both were now.

... and Angeal had a headache, too. Originally, it had just been from everything that had happened, but... now it was more just because Aerith really did hit as hard as Zack had said she did, and especially when she had a metal staff in hand. Not like Angeal had said anything about it, though, or like he planned to; he knew that he had deserved it. Her anger was entirely justified, perhaps both at him and Zack.

Because it was stupid, wasn't it? Sitting here and dwelling like this, that Angeal had taken off the bracelet in the first place and that Zack had chosen to get himself involved. (Angeal knew why--) Though Angeal hadn't felt like he could help himself then and he still didn't feel as though he could, he knew it was still not helping matters. He was just--he was trying. It just took some time.

... honestly, perhaps Angeal was feeling even worse then. Killing Zack had been enough on its own, but then Aerith had taken it upon herself to inform him of the memory he had been missing, back on Gaia: Zack had killed him. (So that was what Zack had meant, when he had said, Who cares? We'd just be even then, right?!) And he wasn't sure why, Aerith wasn't sure why, but he knew--Zack had to have been provoked into that. He had done something, had made Zack take up his sword, and--

Angeal's thoughts were cut through by the sound of Genesis' voice. Out of habit, his gaze snapped upwards instantly, though his expression did not change. Truly, he had not wanted to see the other like this, still wished the stubborn redhead would just put his bracelet on already, but--so, Aerith had called him. Angeal had knew she would. Aerith and her staff and that simple gaze she gave him, every time he so much as tried to move from where he sat.

His eyes were upon Genesis now, and when he rose to stand, Aerith did not so much as look up from her own seat. "... Genesis."

[genesissy]

One, two, three steps and Genesis was across the room. He wasn't one to throw his arms around the other, or anything of the sort, but still. Still.

His hands went to Angeal's shoulders, clutched at them and squeezed. He was still there - and like hell if Genesis would permit him to run off again. Not again. There was a forced calmness to his features, one that he was attempting just for Angeal's sake. The bracelet was light within the pocket of his jacket, and he would put it on. Just as soon as they were alone.

He offered the other the ghost of a smile, easing up on his hold ever so slightly. "...Home?"

Still lingering in the doorway, Cloud kept his silence. Blue eyes were more intent on lingering upon Aerith's form than the other two; grazing over the outline of her body, ensuring she had no injuries. Genesis' words to Angeal somehow prompted him to move forward, and he paused just beside her and offered out a gloved hand.

[pridefulness]

Aerith only looked up, watching the floor as she was, when Cloud was beside her. Her gaze drifted upwards then, green eyes meeting bright blue without fail. She smiled slightly, and there was nothing--in her gaze, in that gesture, in her demeanor--that suggested any manner of trouble. As though this was an ordinary occasion, as though she was always just keeping SOLDIERs locked in churches, as if--

Trouble? No. That's not how Aerith was looking at it just then, with that fire and determination that lined her very being. Trouble would have suggested difficulty, and in this? No. She wasn't accepting any more of that. She would go with Cloud and Angeal would go with Genesis and Zack would be--better be--back with Namine and that would be that. They would stand and they would hold or--Aerith wouldn't even go there.

And whilst she was taking Cloud's hand, allowing herself to be pulled to standing, Angeal was... watching Genesis wordlessly. Truthfully, he wanted to say no. As he had before, because Angeal had no interest in being around much of anything or anyone until he came to terms with--

But even as he was thinking that, he knew also that he could not deny Genesis. Over the computer had been a lot easier, but this--ah, and now Aerith was watching him, too. Pausing her own exit until Angeal and Genesis had made theirs--such determination!--and he'd learned well enough not to incite the girl's anger, if he could help it.

So, after a few moments, Angeal gave the barest nods of his head. In the very least, Genesis would put the bracelet back on and Angeal would not have to wonder when he would get into trouble, when ShinRa would take him. They'd go home, Genesis would go sane, and Angeal would--

Yes.

"... let's go then," was all he said.

[genesissy]

First things first.

Genesis' hands fell away from Angeal's shoulders, almost reluctant; he considered putting the bracelet on right then, but... that would have created a whole new set of difficulties - like Angeal refusing to come home. Genesis disliked getting angry at him, but that likely would have set him off.

He turned, then, toward the door with the intent of leaving and assuming - hoping - Angeal would follow. As he always did. As Genesis assumed he always would, even if he were sulking. The redhead moved past Aerith and Cloud without a word, without a thank you (because he had the feeling that Aerith had not been kind to his friend by any means, and that it itself made him too likely to snap at her and start an argument that would not have ended well), and headed from the church back out into the biting cold of the courtyard outside.

Cloud only watched them go, fingers wrapped securely about Aerith's hand. His gaze returned to her face a moment later, brows drawing together in concern. "You're... all right?" he asked. She looked fine, but always better to make sure. Worrying was in Cloud's nature; he'd have had a lot more free time on his hands if it were not.

[pridefulness]

If Genesis had put on the bracelet just then, certainly Angeal's cooperation level would have gone down. One of the main reasons why he had ultimately agreed to go back with Genesis just then, after all, was because he knew the redhead was unsteady and rather had a need of him. (Not that the redhead didn't always, but--this was different, wasn't it?)

He didn't, though, and when Genesis moved to leave the church, Angeal (after a brief hesitation) made to follow. He didn't look at Cloud as he followed, but he did spare Aerith a brief glance, and then he only nodded. He had a feeling he'd undoubtedly run into her again, and then--well, they'd deal with that when it came time.

For now, he simply continued to let Genesis lead the way home.

When they had left, Aerith's first reaction was to sigh and shake her head, letting some of the tension slip from her small frame. She looked almost tired for a moment, before she glanced up at Cloud and smiled in response to his question. "Perfectly fine," she declared, fingers curling tightly around Cloud's. She took a step forward, towards the exit of the church, and tugged the blonde with her. "Though, I believe you owe me a date~"

[genesissy]

He cast one last look back, noting the two still lingering behind. Once the doors swung shut behind them, Genesis' attention turned straight ahead again, focusing on nothing in particular. Snow and barren trees. Dark sky. And still far, far too cold for his liking. Home had never gotten quite like this. (And why was he thinking of it now, all of a sudden? The thought of their hometown had not even crossed his mind in a long while... for it to suddenly come up-?)

The silence was heavier than Genesis would have liked, too, as they advanced across the courtyard, beyond the church completely and across the ice-crusted ground. Back to the upper level they would go, and Genesis was no fool; he knew Angeal would try to leave again. How he'd go about forcing him to stay, he wasn't sure... but he'd think of something. Either threaten to destroy the bracelet, or threaten to leave or... keep him by force. Something could and would be done.

He refused to let Angeal wander off alone again.

He refused to be left alone again.

After the silence had a few long minutes to stagnate, the redhead exhaled, casting a glance over his shoulder.

"Speak to me."

[pridefulness]

Angeal, honestly, took no mind of the scenery. The path from the church was not at all one familiar to him, but following Genesis had long since become something of sheer and natural instinct, and so he didn't need to focus on what was around him. He didn't even have to look up as he followed the redhead, which was well enough; he had no plans to.

And his gaze stayed locked absently upon the ground they walked, even when Genesis spoke to him. Speak...? Just what was Angeal supposed to say? A relay of what had happened, of how he had felt? What he felt now, what he thought now? No, Angeal didn't want to speak of those things. He didn't even know if he had words for it, the madness and the grief, that which Genesis--

"... put your bracelet on," was all he said, sounding vaguely irritated.

[genesissy]

His gaze drew straight ahead again. One gloved hand touched to his side, hovering over his pocket, before slipping within where fingers curled about the silver bracelet buried there. He pulled it out and examined it, but no immediate move was made to actually put it about his wrist.

What point was there to it, just yet? This noise in his head, this... ever-present weight that threatened to drag him down. He was used to it, where Angeal was not. Even in his current state of mind, he couldn't understand why Angeal would beat himself up over the entire situation. It was done and over with, it had not been his fault... And if there were other things bothering him, well, Genesis wants to know. Wanted to hear about them.

So rarely was he ever any use to his friend. What was so wrong about wanting to return the favor of Angeal sticking by him all this time?

"I will," he announced, not coming to a halt but slowing his steps, "if you promise to stay with me."

[pridefulness]

Angeal did not pause at that, still did not look up, because he had expected it. Hadn't the redhead been saying the entire time that he'd put the bracelet on only when Angeal came home? Of course he'd want Angeal to stay, and ordinarily, the SOLDIER would not have hesitated, would not have thought to say anything other than, All right, but--

But what good was he like this? Yes, it was not just the events of recent in Purgatorium that was bothering him, but that which he had committed on Gaia, too--where was his excuse for that one? He certainly hadn't possessed Genesis' body at that time. That he had driven Zack to kill him, that he had put such a burden on the younger man, that he had left Genesis alone--

Angeal's gaze snapped upwards then. He wondered if he had been thinking the same, back then. What good am I? Leaving Genesis alone, leaving Zack alone, because what else could he have done? What could he do now? Thus far, he had not managed to snap out of it, and speaking of anything--well, he certainly didn't want it coming to Genesis blaming himself for the things he had done, back then. (As he had told Genesis, their crimes were entirely different. And weren't they. Zack had been someone who had known, who had always done his best to help. Much, much different than those that Genesis had killed.)

... but perhaps leaving, even if the only thing he could do, wasn't something he should do. Leaving again. Where had that gone last time...?

So, after a few moments, Angeal's gaze went back to the ground and he murmured, "... very well."

[genesissy]

That was all it took. Simple words to placate him and bring him into cooperation. The bracelet was slid over his hand, snugly into place around his wrist, and the glove was soon covering it.

And just like that, it all came to a screeching halt. Genesis stumbled at first, catching himself with a hand pressed to a nearby tree, and the other touching to his chest. The noise and pain and weight - all gone in thirty seconds or less, and for the first few moments it was nearly overwhelming. Nearly so. He took a few slow, steady breaths, reassessed his own state, reassessed the events of the last few days and...

...No. He felt no differently about any of it. It was still not Angeal's fault, he was still determine that if the other attempted to leave again, the bracelet would meet its untimely end...

He straightened, shoulders a little more squared than before, a look less-weary across his face (tired, but more from the physical exhaustion than mental), and he turned pale eyes to his companion with something akin to hopefulness that he would see approval. Not that it was necessary, but Genesis was always looking to him for such things anymore, wasn't he? When he was so unsure about his own actions and whether they were right or wrong, it was always Angeal that he looked to.

Genesis' hand fell away from the tree, he sighed, and took a small step closer.

"...Better."

[pridefulness]

When Genesis stumbled, Angeal automatically paused in his steps, gaze once again snapping away from the ground. Worry passed across his features, but he did not say anything; he merely stood and waited. Maybe he recalled the difference, being in Genesis' body and then so suddenly being in his own. It certainly had been a... shock, hadn't it? He'd been disoriented for a while afterwards, the heaviness of his actions aside, and he rather imagined the same could be said for Genesis, when he put that bracelet back on.

... which, truthfully, yes, Angeal was glad he had. And the relief showed upon his face, when Genesis turned to face him. He nodded slightly, held the redhead's gaze for a moment, and then his eyes dropped to the ground again. (It was always difficult for him, wasn't it? To meet someone's gaze, when he was feeling so guilty.)

"... thank you," he said quietly. He knew, of course, beyond a doubt that Genesis would take the bracelet off again if he made so much as a move to separate, but--he had promised he wouldn't, hadn't he? And so he wouldn't. He'd just... hope that was the right thing to do, for now.

[genesissy]

Genesis was rubbing at his wrist, something he'd taken to doing ever since his receiving of the bracelet, as though constantly making sure time and time again that it was still there. Like he wouldn't have noticed if it were gone.

He stepped over to his companion, a hand extending, cupping to the side of Angeal's neck and gloved thumb grazing absently along the line of his jaw. Guilt. That was something he knew well, wasn't it? Something that weighed heavy on him, whether he wore the bracelet or not. Not so much guilt for all of the innocents he'd laid to rest, but guilt toward all he'd ever put Angeal through. Guilt for not being stronger.

But it was in the past, he'd learned to tell himself. All that could be done was live in the 'here and now' and learn from past mistakes.

The redhead leaned in, breath ghosting across Angeal's cheek, lips pressing briefly to skin in a not-quite kiss. "We've all done things we deem as unforgivable, Angeal," he murmured. "What truly matters is that those we've wronged have forgiven us."

[pridefulness]

Angeal couldn't help but look up when Genesis reached out and touched him, brows furrowed as though he were in serious contemplation. And he was, wasn't he? Thoughts and questions, endless and many of them without any retort, any form of answer. (Those that had, well... he didn't generally like it nonetheless, so what did it matter?)

His gaze only further darkened, frowned deepened, at the redhead's words. Forgiven? Well, he wouldn't doubt it. Of course Genesis would forgive him. Of course Zack would. What else would they do? With Genesis, they had simply been through so much and were so close--Angeal wouldn't honestly turn away his forgiveness. He'd offer(ed) his own just as readily for any mistakes the redhead made, didn't he?

... but, ah. Zack. Zack forgave almost everyone for almost everything, didn't he? He'd never hold anything if he could help himself if not just because he didn't know what to do with it. Angeal knew well enough that Zack smiled at enemies, that he played around with those who had caused him the greatest harm, and it didn't for a moment mean that he was not bothered by what happened. It still weighed heavily on his mind, still gave him issues, but he--

Angeal found himself sighing then, eyes sliding shut. He leaned forward until his face was buried in Genesis' shoulder, and he mumbled, "I'm a horrible teacher."

[genesissy]

It was then that Genesis finally slid his arms around his partner's shoulders, one hand touching lightly to the back of his head, stroking through soft strands of hair. What could he say to that? He know what Angeal was feeling (liked to think he did, anyway); how many days did he shuffle around thinking what a failure he was? Be it in the friend or partner department or... as a SOLDIER (hero) in general.

His head turned slightly, murmuring soft into the other's hair. "You are not. Look how well he's turned out. So much of that can be attributed to you." He paused, smoothed a hand once more over his hair, down his back. "We're all human. We learned that the hard way, did we not? Mistakes are made, whether they're our fault or not. We learn from them."

[pridefulness]

Angeal couldn't help but shake his head slightly. Was Zack a good person? Better than most, often to the point of sheer foolishness. Angeal wasn't doubting that, but he had... no honest idea how much he had contributed to that. He'd certainly tried, hadn't he? Zack had been so wide-eyed and generally naive, and Angeal had done his best to teach the other properly, to make certain that the kid didn't lose himself in the path he had chosen.

But then for him to go and--

He wasn't sure, really, when his hands had come up. Angeal only registered that they had, that palms rested against Genesis' back before fingers curled around the fabric of his jacket. He just stood there for a few long moments, perhaps allowing himself to focus upon nothing more than the rise and fall of Genesis' breathing.

Angeal was mostly silent, this time around. He didn't honestly know how to reply. (Though there may have been short, murmured words that were muffled against the redhead's shoulders. Sudden words of affection and appreciation, from someone not at all prone to saying them.)

[genesissy]

Genesis only sighed softly, bowed his head, pressed a lingering, soft kiss against the curve of the other's throat. Soothing. As much as he knew how to be - because this was rather a switch, wasn't it? Normally it was Angeal reassuring him.

And it always worked. Genesis always felt better at hearing such things, regardless of whether or not he believed it all. He hoped that, somehow, it would be the same for Angeal. All wounds got better with time, didn't they? Genesis just hoped that this would, too.

The redhead pressed another kiss to Angeal's temple, exhaled. "...Home, Angeal. I imagine you're tired." As he was, too. Rest was certainly in order, he felt.