All that Glitters
Being seen as second best is nothing new to me, whether it be educational endeavors or personal ventures. Its hard to shine when someone else is constantly stealing your spotlight. The tell-tale, "look at (them); they're better at (this and that) than you." I can't tell you how many times I heard that in my child and teen years, well into young adulthood. The result of self-loathing hasn't subsided entirely, but I've learned how to ignore bits of it so I might carry on. Although, I wouldn't write if it didn't bother me. Wouldn't you believe it? Growing up with self-esteem issues takes its toll.
Someone asked me awhile back, "You've never lied before, have you?" - Regarding employment and work ethic.
We're told to embellish facts to polish our image - But when it comes down to it, are you as pure as your word? Why brag about false realities when professionals can see through the bullshit? I'm hardly one to flaunt material wealth or success, as I've always felt pressure to stay under that spotlight. I never enjoyed publicly speaking on personal hardships either, because I don't think anyone would sympathize or understand where I come from. I've hidden many of these growths from the lime light, because I never felt little details to hold any importance to anyone but me. I've kept most, if not all progress under my breath, only to let the final product be a surprise. With that said, selling myself has always felt like an uphill battle.
First-generation Asian families have an undying stereotype that you must be an academic, financial success in order to gain their love and respect. If you don't prosper, neither do they. Needless to say, there's always been a pressure to perform well and excel above everyone. Because let's face it, the amount of money You make is what matters most ... to Them. As narrow minded as that sounds, certain relatives are good at making me feel like I'm never doing enough in life. I want to say that everything I've accomplished at this point is a result of honest effort. I'm not saying I've always had to struggle, but I don't take kindly to those who dismiss the blood sweat and tears that go into it. What gives you the right? It's insulting and makes me wonder what the hell I'm even fighting for anymore.
One night, I was entranced by a window display of chandeliers on Ventura boulevard. The chandeliers are translucent, as they collect and diffuse light to create colorful spectrums. Think about the classic quote, "All that Glitters is not Gold," that underlines the physical appearance of something to it's intrinsic value. Now, I don't compare self-worth to any amount of karats - I don't expect everyone to understand where I am in life. The vision is not crystal clear, because I'm finding the balance of darkness & brightness, among other things in life. I find and feed on positive energy like light and spread color in other areas, just like a prism. I'm putting in work to find all that glitters - Grind now, Shine later.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BFWnv_OBQJl/ - Photo by kaiography, May 2016.
Someone asked me awhile back, "You've never lied before, have you?" - Regarding employment and work ethic.
We're told to embellish facts to polish our image - But when it comes down to it, are you as pure as your word? Why brag about false realities when professionals can see through the bullshit? I'm hardly one to flaunt material wealth or success, as I've always felt pressure to stay under that spotlight. I never enjoyed publicly speaking on personal hardships either, because I don't think anyone would sympathize or understand where I come from. I've hidden many of these growths from the lime light, because I never felt little details to hold any importance to anyone but me. I've kept most, if not all progress under my breath, only to let the final product be a surprise. With that said, selling myself has always felt like an uphill battle.
First-generation Asian families have an undying stereotype that you must be an academic, financial success in order to gain their love and respect. If you don't prosper, neither do they. Needless to say, there's always been a pressure to perform well and excel above everyone. Because let's face it, the amount of money You make is what matters most ... to Them. As narrow minded as that sounds, certain relatives are good at making me feel like I'm never doing enough in life. I want to say that everything I've accomplished at this point is a result of honest effort. I'm not saying I've always had to struggle, but I don't take kindly to those who dismiss the blood sweat and tears that go into it. What gives you the right? It's insulting and makes me wonder what the hell I'm even fighting for anymore.
One night, I was entranced by a window display of chandeliers on Ventura boulevard. The chandeliers are translucent, as they collect and diffuse light to create colorful spectrums. Think about the classic quote, "All that Glitters is not Gold," that underlines the physical appearance of something to it's intrinsic value. Now, I don't compare self-worth to any amount of karats - I don't expect everyone to understand where I am in life. The vision is not crystal clear, because I'm finding the balance of darkness & brightness, among other things in life. I find and feed on positive energy like light and spread color in other areas, just like a prism. I'm putting in work to find all that glitters - Grind now, Shine later.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BFWnv_OBQJl/ - Photo by kaiography, May 2016.