Emma's List Of Fashion Don'ts
I've been exhausted from such a really shitty week, and so there will be no serious post; not like anyone reads them anyway. Instead, there will be a list of my personal fashion pet peeves that should not be taken seriously.
Socks with flats
Okay, ballet flats can look stylish in the right manner. But when you pair them with navy or black socks? It sets my teeth on edge. The point of them is to emulate ballet shoes; can you think of a ballet where they've jumped around in thick navy tights? No? Neither can I.
Bubble coats
Shapeless and baggy coats were bad enough hobo-chic wise. But now we have these things that make you look like your arse is so large it needs extra material. You have a waist. Accentuate it. You just look like one of those dolls that don't fall over because of their rounded bottoms; children's toys are not where you should be looking for cutting-edge style.
Ugg boots
They're comfy? Really? After you've worn them so many times that you're walking on the edge of the sole and mostly on the suede rather than the sole all the time?
Crocs
Fuck ugly holey faux-folk smug baby-shoes.
Crocs with socks
Make even less sense, and are even uglier.
Huge tops
I can understand having a high collar and long sleeves if, say, there's a cut-out at the back. Or maybe if there's a cool logo. But plain, boring ones? What are you trying to do, make it a completely audio-centric society?
Hair dyed two colours
By this I mean specifically platinum blonde on top and black on the bottom. You offend my Goth sensibilities and also my sense of colour. It looks like you can't afford to have your roots dyed to a fantastic extent, and above all it looks incredibly fake.
Hair extensions
Hated it in Little Women, hate it now. LEAVE THEIR HAIR ALONE.
Blocky fringes
I am echoing mothers the world over: why do you hide your face? Plus, hair gets greasy. Grease gives you spots. No fringe: no spots. Tadaa!
Socks with flats
Okay, ballet flats can look stylish in the right manner. But when you pair them with navy or black socks? It sets my teeth on edge. The point of them is to emulate ballet shoes; can you think of a ballet where they've jumped around in thick navy tights? No? Neither can I.
Bubble coats
Shapeless and baggy coats were bad enough hobo-chic wise. But now we have these things that make you look like your arse is so large it needs extra material. You have a waist. Accentuate it. You just look like one of those dolls that don't fall over because of their rounded bottoms; children's toys are not where you should be looking for cutting-edge style.
Ugg boots
They're comfy? Really? After you've worn them so many times that you're walking on the edge of the sole and mostly on the suede rather than the sole all the time?
Crocs
Fuck ugly holey faux-folk smug baby-shoes.
Crocs with socks
Make even less sense, and are even uglier.
Huge tops
I can understand having a high collar and long sleeves if, say, there's a cut-out at the back. Or maybe if there's a cool logo. But plain, boring ones? What are you trying to do, make it a completely audio-centric society?
Hair dyed two colours
By this I mean specifically platinum blonde on top and black on the bottom. You offend my Goth sensibilities and also my sense of colour. It looks like you can't afford to have your roots dyed to a fantastic extent, and above all it looks incredibly fake.
Hair extensions
Hated it in Little Women, hate it now. LEAVE THEIR HAIR ALONE.
Blocky fringes
I am echoing mothers the world over: why do you hide your face? Plus, hair gets greasy. Grease gives you spots. No fringe: no spots. Tadaa!