I can't do it.
It's not what I signed up for. Hell I deliberately might have tried to flub the interview because something was telling me this wasn't for me.
I blame people for fucking pressuring me to accept it, including the place itself when they kept hurrying me to take the post. And people with their "do it for the money!" "Think of the money"
At the expense of my being miserable for a year? That's just not right. Money's not everything. It's nice to have but what's the point if I keep waking up every day wanting to curl up and die.
And the travel. It's 1.5hrs each way. It tires the crap out of me. I'm not as privileged to own a car so I rely on public transport and a shuttle bus to get me to this place in the middle of nowhere. There is no way to get to this place without using the ONE shuttle bus from the train station. If you miss it, get ready to throw $15 away on a cab.
The job scope is not what they made me believe when they tested me. "Editorial" is a joke. There's no editorial work at all. Maybe there will be later? After all I've only been there two days. But no. Was given a briefing. I'm there as a temp to help work on production. Like literally setting the pages and chasing freelancers n authors for their work so I can help them get published.
Call me a bit self centered but no. I don't want to help some half bit author writing a text book about accounting get published. No. I want to be the one doing the writing. With my own by-line. I want to be able to point at something and go, hey look I wrote that.
I'm not wrong to want to still chase my dream. I don't want to be tied to a cubicle and if I must be then it'll be for something I like doing. Not for this. No. And I shouldn't have to force myself to stick to it just for the money.
Sometimes you really just have to go with your gut
EDIT: Yeah I just went in this morning and quit, and left. They couldn't really do anything since I'd only been there two days. Two days was enough to make me want to pull my hair out
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