I feel like somedays i'm only alive to annoy people.
I'm an attention whore and i need to stop.
I'm tired of feeling like everything SHOULDNT revolve around me but i manage to make it happen that way anyways.. I'm tired of trying to do everything one way and failing. Cause all i feel like right now is a failure.
I'm 24, unemployed..
and i just can't find a job , and i can't make money, and the fact that money's supposed to buy you happiness is bullshit, shopping only makes me more depressed, because then i'm buying shit i dont need.. shit that i'm not proud of anymore. things that my family says are a waste of money...
iv'e got like a laptop i dont need, an external hard drive i dont need.. toys i dont need.. dvds i dont need..
food i've bought i didint need...
ya know it's not cause people are starving in china, it's cause i damn well feel like i fail.
I can't seem to come to a point where i can stop crying about things, FINE and dandy that there's no reason to cry anymore.. but what happens when i do, when i feel like a failure again? When i feel like everything's coming to a stop, and while things should feel like they're going up.. they're not?
It's probabyl just me right now, probably just how i feel right now.. i'll probably be better tomorrow...
but i just feel like i get in everyone's way.. i and i waste everyone's time causei cant do anything right...
it's just like me to get myself on a good row of up and suddenly crash all over again... just because i fucked up.....
I'm tired of feeling like everything SHOULDNT revolve around me but i manage to make it happen that way anyways.. I'm tired of trying to do everything one way and failing. Cause all i feel like right now is a failure.
I'm 24, unemployed..
and i just can't find a job , and i can't make money, and the fact that money's supposed to buy you happiness is bullshit, shopping only makes me more depressed, because then i'm buying shit i dont need.. shit that i'm not proud of anymore. things that my family says are a waste of money...
iv'e got like a laptop i dont need, an external hard drive i dont need.. toys i dont need.. dvds i dont need..
food i've bought i didint need...
ya know it's not cause people are starving in china, it's cause i damn well feel like i fail.
I can't seem to come to a point where i can stop crying about things, FINE and dandy that there's no reason to cry anymore.. but what happens when i do, when i feel like a failure again? When i feel like everything's coming to a stop, and while things should feel like they're going up.. they're not?
It's probabyl just me right now, probably just how i feel right now.. i'll probably be better tomorrow...
but i just feel like i get in everyone's way.. i and i waste everyone's time causei cant do anything right...
it's just like me to get myself on a good row of up and suddenly crash all over again... just because i fucked up.....