Mr and Mrs. Anonymous (2/?)
Title: Mr. And Mrs. Anonymous
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: YunJae (main), ChangKyu
Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Yunho signs up for a dating site, and has no idea that the person he is talking to is Jaejoong. (Post DBSK Split).
Why was he doing this?
Why, why, why, why was he wasting his time doing this? Changmin was right - an anonymous account on some random dating site was the worst possible way to create a social life. He was better off just ringing up the maknae and asking if he felt like going out to get some lunch. Yes - that sounded like a much better idea.
“Changmin do you want to - ?”
“Out with Kyu,” was Changmin’s blunt answer. The phone hung up a second later.
Yunho held it in his hand, blinking in confusion. He then sighed, and silently pondered when Changmin had stopped having time for him. He felt like a damn father suffering from empty nest syndrome.
Almost involuntarily, he glanced at the computer screen.
JJ: what r u doing now???
Yunho paused, cocking his head to the side, considering his options. As he had for almost every online conversation over the past few days, he shrugged his head, deciding that weird, anonymous conversations weren’t unhealthy. And it was highly unlikely that this was some crazed sasaeng fan who knew what his IP address was, and was just waiting for him to let something slip.
Kim Yun: empty nest syndrome
Yunho paused, and then shrugged. Eh - what the heck, what was the worst that could happen?
JJ: you have kids?
Kim Yun: nope. little brother
Well, he supposed Changmin was like a little brother to him. He’d watched the younger grow up, had been subject to his teen angst, and his porn obsession, and his annoying, bitchy, evil-maknae persona…
JJ: ooooh. that’s cool. I have a bunch of sisters
Kim Yun: how many?
JJ: one
Kim Yun: …thought you said a bunch???
JJ: haha, nah, typo
Yunho stared. In all honesty, the guy probably didn’t have any siblings at all. Or maybe he was just lying about the number. Who the hell knew what lies people sprouted on the internet? The truth seemed to get mixed in with every other fallacy.
Then again, Yunho supposed that that was half the fun of it.
‘I have a cat’, he typed. He then felt a wave of self-deprecation, because, really, was that the best lie he could come up with?
JJ: cool. I have roommates.
Kim Yun: ???
JJ: they’re practically animals
Kim Yun: LOL
…Did people still use LOL? Or was he just seriously behind in his chat speak?
JJ: they’re watching some cheesy horror film. I know the ending. Think I should spoil it for them? xD
Kim Yun: NO! don’t do that! my dongsaeng does that to me all the time, and it’s horrible!
Yunho shook his head, letting out a loud sigh. Yes, Changmin seemed to have a perpetual love of tormenting him. The movie trick, well, he had learnt that one from Jaejoong. Yunho basically had to lock himself in his room if he wanted to watch anything, or else Changmin would be yelling out all the best spoilers.
Yunho felt his phone buzz and he glanced down. It was Changmin. The words, ‘hey hyung, I’m at the cinemas, want to meet me there?’ were displayed across his screen. Yunho snorted - oh sure, so now he wanted to spend some time with him.
Yunho paused, contemplating his options. Real friend or strange-anonymous-person…?
‘Sorry JJ’.
Kim Yun: gotta go
Yunho closed his laptop lid and stood up. Anonymous conversations were strangely enjoyable, Yunho thought. Although, he hoped to god that the mysterious ‘JJ’ wasn’t some creepy sasaeng fan. Or a psychopath. Or a crime lord. Or his sister. Oh god, what if it was his sister?
Yunho paused, glancing at his laptop, and then shook his head and walked away. Typing, ‘are you my sister?’ would probably result in one less online friend - and seeing as he only had one, that probably wouldn’t be a good outcome. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was actually planning on meeting with this person…
…
Jaejoong let out a frustrated huff. Typing on his phone was the most annoying thing. He was Kim Jaejoong, and thus he was multi-talented and utterly amazing. Everyone had their faults though, and mastering the ways of the iphone just didn’t seem to be his forte.
Jaejoong smirked as another message popped up from ‘Kim Yun’. He was still surprised that he’d decided to hang around on that stupid dating site. After all, the objective had been to get someone to accept his chat request, and now that they had…well, there was no need to waste his time. It was actually fun though, so Jaejoong didn’t see an issue with it. As long as it didn't turn out to be a sasaeng fan who could somehow work out that it was him. Or one of his sisters…he did have a lot of sisters. Maybe he should drop in a few hints about the dating website at the next family dinner and see if he got a reaction…
‘What r u doing now?’ he typed, and waited for a response.
Kim Yun: empty nest syndrome
Jaejoong blinked, cocking his head to the side. So what, was he talking to a married man? Oh dear - he didn’t want to assist in an affair, even if he didn’t know who he was apparently having an affair with. What if the wife cyber-slapped him. He didn’t want to be cyber-slapped…
JJ: you have kids?
Well, it was a better response than ‘how dare you risk my cyber-face!’ or ‘am I complicit in a cyber affair???!’
It was no secret that Kim Jaejoong was a drama queen.
Kim Yun: nope. little brother
JJ: ooooh. that’s cool. I have a bunch of sisters
Oh wait, no, that was bad. That was a bad response. People knew that Kim Jaejoong had nine sisters. Saying that he had nine sisters, paired with the nickname ‘JJ’ was probably a bad idea.
…It also wasn’t a secret that Kim Jaejoong was paranoid as fuck.
Kim Yun: how many?
JJ: one
Kim Yun: …thought you said a bunch???
JJ: haha, nah, typo
Jaejoong smiled, nodding his head proudly. Yes - he was the king of cover ups. Jaejoong saw another message pop in, and he quickly typed a response. The rest of the conversation pretty much went that way - by the time Kim Yun had logged out, Jaejoong had reaffirmed the fact that anonymous online personas were a whole bucketload of fun.
“What are you doing?” Yoochun asked, staring at him oddly.
“Texting my sister,” Jaejoong replied. In the past, if he really needed to hide what he was doing, he could easily use Yunho as an excuse. Now though, he didn’t exactly have that option, so he needed to go for the next best thing. “Are you still watching that crap?”
“The filming for my new drama starts tomorrow,” Yoochun replied, shrugging. “I figured I should use my free-time to relax before the hard work starts.” Seeing Jaejoong’s expression, he quickly added, “and I know you haven’t watched this - I double checked. So you can’t spoil the ending this time. Ha, fucking, ha.”
“Wikipedia,” Jaejoong replied.
Yoochun glared. “Go to hell Jaejoong.”
“Shut up!” Junsu hissed, flapping his hands frantically. “Scary stuff his about to happen!”
Jaejoong laughed and threw himself on the sofa between his two dongsaengs.