(no subject)
Stop whatever it is that you are thinking. now listen to me, or anybody, for once. it may sound like im making acusations(spelling?) but in reality you probably weren't listening. you have tried, succeeded a couple of times but usually we are so busy with ourselves we dont have time to really listen. so stop right now. just stop. listen to your surroundings, wind, family or friends talking, laughing, yelling, the t.v., that ringy noise you hear when there is nothing else to hear, your own heartbeat. enjoy it. just lose yourself in this sound.
now listen to me in your head as you read this, stop worrying, stop fussing. play these words in your head every day, you will need them maybe 100 times a day what with the way we think these days. "it's in the past." thats just it, its in the past and thats where it will stay if you let it. if you want it to.weve all got an asshole, a jerk, a bitch, a ranting lunatic, an annoying younger sibling in us. no "ifs" thats just how it is. now listen to yourself for five seconds, five seconds of selfishness, just you. what do you really want to do. keep reading? move on to someone who has something easier to read or doesnt demand for you to change for the better? change for good is so difficult especially if you cant see your evils. most likely you are thinking of something wrong with you, if you are, odds are its the smallest problem you have, if even that. so just shut up for a second. ask someone else to insult you, someone you know.
i saw these jerks at my school throwing shit at a friend of mine, Freddy, for getting to class faster by walking between a huge square of sidewalk, he got to class on time and didnt get a detention but people pretended to dislike him. they dont even know his name, or if both of his parents are alive or if he has ever seen someone die right in front of him or if he still has a swingset in his backyard from when he was little and still swings on it occasionally. they threw fries at him, fries. havent you done that before? of course you have. been with a group and considered yourself part of it, that is what EVERYONE is like when they are in a group and happen upon an individual. you become shit, you become just like every other jerk in the world.
i have a few people who hate me on my mind of late. nothing horrible ive done, just life happening to people. see, people like my haters say i dont know them, but really, who DOESNT know them? their sort? havnt you ever been disliked because a lack of a million common interests, or the sort that dislikes being called a single word uttered throughout time and is meant to offend, meant to destroy relationships and can if you let it. of course they have both happened to me. ive been called whitey before by a couple of guys before, both taller, both wearing basketball clothes and sporting goatees. i looked at them and smiled, nothing like a smirk or even a smile like i thought they were sad, i just smiled, passing on some happyiness. they didnt say anything. i walked on.
so stop. always stop before you call a stranger a bitch for wearing the same sweater as you or just for loookig like one. odds are shes a Freddy, someone who is so easily loved, so easily enjoyed, so long as you dont destroy her with your neverending selfishness. i like to say that i have only one friend. i have millions but only one at a time. any more and you become a jerk. please just try to control yourselves. please. for me and for the person you are about to abuse. someone needs to tell guys this, teenage boys that are so afraid that they feel they have to defend themselves with a rough body and a cold heart. girls odds are most of your guy friends are a jerk to someone else. ive been the "someone else" and ive been the jerk. its so easy to be a jerk. its so hard to come back out of it. and its even harder just living or NOT killing the jerk when you are the "someone else".ladies, odds are you are a jerk too. you know it. stop.
now listen to me in your head as you read this, stop worrying, stop fussing. play these words in your head every day, you will need them maybe 100 times a day what with the way we think these days. "it's in the past." thats just it, its in the past and thats where it will stay if you let it. if you want it to.weve all got an asshole, a jerk, a bitch, a ranting lunatic, an annoying younger sibling in us. no "ifs" thats just how it is. now listen to yourself for five seconds, five seconds of selfishness, just you. what do you really want to do. keep reading? move on to someone who has something easier to read or doesnt demand for you to change for the better? change for good is so difficult especially if you cant see your evils. most likely you are thinking of something wrong with you, if you are, odds are its the smallest problem you have, if even that. so just shut up for a second. ask someone else to insult you, someone you know.
i saw these jerks at my school throwing shit at a friend of mine, Freddy, for getting to class faster by walking between a huge square of sidewalk, he got to class on time and didnt get a detention but people pretended to dislike him. they dont even know his name, or if both of his parents are alive or if he has ever seen someone die right in front of him or if he still has a swingset in his backyard from when he was little and still swings on it occasionally. they threw fries at him, fries. havent you done that before? of course you have. been with a group and considered yourself part of it, that is what EVERYONE is like when they are in a group and happen upon an individual. you become shit, you become just like every other jerk in the world.
i have a few people who hate me on my mind of late. nothing horrible ive done, just life happening to people. see, people like my haters say i dont know them, but really, who DOESNT know them? their sort? havnt you ever been disliked because a lack of a million common interests, or the sort that dislikes being called a single word uttered throughout time and is meant to offend, meant to destroy relationships and can if you let it. of course they have both happened to me. ive been called whitey before by a couple of guys before, both taller, both wearing basketball clothes and sporting goatees. i looked at them and smiled, nothing like a smirk or even a smile like i thought they were sad, i just smiled, passing on some happyiness. they didnt say anything. i walked on.
so stop. always stop before you call a stranger a bitch for wearing the same sweater as you or just for loookig like one. odds are shes a Freddy, someone who is so easily loved, so easily enjoyed, so long as you dont destroy her with your neverending selfishness. i like to say that i have only one friend. i have millions but only one at a time. any more and you become a jerk. please just try to control yourselves. please. for me and for the person you are about to abuse. someone needs to tell guys this, teenage boys that are so afraid that they feel they have to defend themselves with a rough body and a cold heart. girls odds are most of your guy friends are a jerk to someone else. ive been the "someone else" and ive been the jerk. its so easy to be a jerk. its so hard to come back out of it. and its even harder just living or NOT killing the jerk when you are the "someone else".ladies, odds are you are a jerk too. you know it. stop.