confusion
i am forever confused as to what life has in store for me. you know you think you know people but then you find out that you don't.... the people that you second guess are the ones that you should be nice to because they are there for you. you think someone is your friend and really they are probably talking about how crazy you are. you think that because someone is your family member that it should automatically make them love you. it doesn't. its amazing that i can go through life this long and never really feel true love from anyone, even a parent. i guess it may be because i haven't truly ever loved anyone without wanting love or friendship or something else in return. i don't know if unconditional love exists. you know i don't mean the love that a man and woman share but just the general love the unconditional caring that i want to feel all of the time, i guess i feel it sometimes but its not common enough to be able to embrace. i sometimes wish that my mom was here because if she was i wouldn't be here right now, not that i hate my life but i really wish that i had more love in my life. if she was here by bros and i would be closer, i wouldn't live in this town and i wouldn't have abandonment issues. i even feel weird about my dog. i second guess having him, i always think that maybe something else might come up and i may need to leave him... what is wrong with me?