Happy fuckin' new year's indeed...
Christmas? Sucked ass. Death in the family on christmas day. Spent Christmas eve and day in hospitals. Double suck. Spent two seconds on the phone wishing Tom a merry Christmas.
New Years? Spent alone. Drunk. Watching Shrek 3. Wishing and hoping that Tom would come. That Tom would call. That Tom would do anything.
Today? Wishing people would stop asking, "How was your Christmas? How was your New Year?" I got tired of replying "OK." So now I just tell everyone, "It could have been better." If they proceed to ask what I mean, I tell them how I spent those holidays--with Death and alone. How much worse could the holidays have been? I don't want to ever know.
It was already bad enough that working retail takes all the magic and good feeling out of the Christmas holiday, your boyfriend breaking up with you only a month before, and then having someone you loved die on Christmas day. I mean, just damn dude, enough already. I cried so much before I got home Christmas eve that I had no tears left for poor Morgan when we got to Jackson Christmas day and found out she had died on our way there.
I'm a pathetic "crack addict" whose addicted to Tom. BTW, Thanks to all of you who compare my relationships to drugs. So what? I LOVE Tom, why does that mean nothing? Even after all this pain and mourning, I still love Tom. Every day it hurts to not have him with him. I don't want to get over him. I don't want to move on. I don't want to get better. Why does everyone else want me to??
New Years? Spent alone. Drunk. Watching Shrek 3. Wishing and hoping that Tom would come. That Tom would call. That Tom would do anything.
Today? Wishing people would stop asking, "How was your Christmas? How was your New Year?" I got tired of replying "OK." So now I just tell everyone, "It could have been better." If they proceed to ask what I mean, I tell them how I spent those holidays--with Death and alone. How much worse could the holidays have been? I don't want to ever know.
It was already bad enough that working retail takes all the magic and good feeling out of the Christmas holiday, your boyfriend breaking up with you only a month before, and then having someone you loved die on Christmas day. I mean, just damn dude, enough already. I cried so much before I got home Christmas eve that I had no tears left for poor Morgan when we got to Jackson Christmas day and found out she had died on our way there.
I'm a pathetic "crack addict" whose addicted to Tom. BTW, Thanks to all of you who compare my relationships to drugs. So what? I LOVE Tom, why does that mean nothing? Even after all this pain and mourning, I still love Tom. Every day it hurts to not have him with him. I don't want to get over him. I don't want to move on. I don't want to get better. Why does everyone else want me to??