(no subject)
Being a girl you always dream of that perfect wedding. Envision it in your mind so that when the time comes to walk down that aisle you already know what flowers you'd like, what sort of atmosphere you'd like to create. So there I was standing in the mirror as my mom put on my wedding dress and it was anything but what I had envisioned.
I was marrying the wrong guy for instance, he wasn't 'The One'. I knew that like I knew my eyes were blue. His bestman was 'The One' and we both knew it but didn't know what to do about it. This all seems really complicated and I haven't even begun.
The other problem with this wedding was well pretty much all of it. My 'father' was walking me down the aisle and I completely didn't approve of that considering I barely know him and well he didn't raise me at all. I wanted my 'dad' to walk me down the aisle. I was pretty darn close to throwing a fit but my 'dad' calmed me down by pointing out the logic and to just let 'father' do his thing. Again.
Sigh. Sometimes all you wanted was within your grasp and it just seemed like it was too late. I kept thinking of how I could wangle my way out of these events and get what I really wanted, but somehow it just seemed like the clock was ticking and I was running out of time.
I pictured running out of the house and down the street, hopping in a cab and driving away to some unknown place and later getting in contact with 'The One' but somehow someone always kept coming in the room when I was close to bolting.
For some unexplicable reason I could not stop crying, lord help me I wonder why. It just seemed that I was making the biggest mistake of my life and I couldn't do anything about it.
Looking at myself in the mirror well that wasn't at all the way I wanted to look on my wedding day. Black lines running continually down my face, my eyes looking as though I was a deer caught in the headlights, even the veil that my mother had somehow stabbed into my head was all askew. Take deep breaths Anna big deep breaths.
Nope that didn't help the sobs kept coming.
Here we go Anna, you can do this, this should be the happiest day of your life..... oh shit what the hell have I gotten myself into!!!
Now you must all think I'm a complete and utter bitch or something along those lines. Who marries a guy that she doesnt love? Who goes after the best man at her own wedding? Well truth be told I didn't go after him at the wedding per say... its a big of a long story. You see Nick (aka THE ONE!) came in on a flight from Ireland about two weeks ago, I was quite content to marry the man I was marrying until I laid eyes on Nick (that bastard) needless to say as soon as he was hugging Ian and I was standing off to the side with my mouth hanging slightly open I knew I had made a terrible mistake. The way his brown milk chocolate gorgeous eyes met mine while he hugged his best friend of 25 years and we both knew that we were in trouble. Nick was polite and friendly and shook my hand. Now that had been a mistake, shaking my hand that is. The electricity that just seemed to go up my arm once our hands connected pretty much scared the living day lights out of me and so I gasped and quickly took my hand back. That was only the beginning.