hello, world.
a few weeks ago i decided, for a lot of reasons,
to finish out the semester from home--
and leave marlboro for a little while.
only until spring semester starts again.
then i'll be back with a veangeance.
some combination of too much work, too little sleep
too many peripheral obligations and too much anxiety
pushed me hard over the edge, and when i saw where
i was going, i thought it would be better to take a step back
and say, for the first time in a long, long time--
i'm going to do something for myself. and just for myself.
breaking off all my commitments and explaining the situation
to my professors was one of the most difficult things i've
ever had to do. i have always been so (freakishly) invested
in their opinion of me, in an academic sense, in terms of
knowing that i am reliable and can handle a superhuman amount
of work with very little trouble.
so, weakness admitted, time taken,
i came home to the quiet that i needed.
and i'll be here for a while.
spent last week in burlington, walking the rainy
streets and sitting in the library-- writing papers,
letters, what have you. poems. lots of poems.
sunday was hayden carruth's memorial service in montpelier.
he passed away a little over amonth ago, and thirteen poets
got together to do readings from his work. galway kinnell
was the first to read, and my god, that man. i love him so much.
a lifetime on a greyhound and i'm home again.
time to make some tea.