i can finally update!
Ok I can finally update cuz I am at my friend Chelsey's house. So much happened over this week.
Sunday- Ray got married. like 100 people there but I felt so alone. when I got home I attempted to cut myself.
Monday- I told Eric if he cut himself that I'd slit my throat. He said oh then you better not cut yourself. so I started to feel guilty and got upset with him. I called him at like 5 or 6 and told him I cut.
Tuesday- Eric ignored me all day. I wrote him a note and called him later that night and he told me he wasn't mad at me but I think he was lieing.
Wensday- Raquel gave me a wicked good razor. i told Eric I had it. Got home, feel asleep on the couch. My mom wakes up and yells at me because the puppy got upstairs. So I went for a walk all the way to part way down holyoke rd. Met up with Eric and walked with him back. Went home and then hung out with Chelsey and Jordan.
Thursday- I was happy this day. After school I hung out with Jordan and Chelseys mom. she let us smoke at her house it was cool.
Friday- I found out that Cory from school was the same guy i met at the dance and was all over lol. Got home and slept on the couch till 5:30. Woke up, at 8 chelsey called. I walked her home and hung with her for a little bit and made some sort of peace with Megan.
Today- Hung out at home all day. got the new GC CD. Went to Chelseys at 9:30. I made her mac and cheese and I was trying to bring down the 2 bowels of mac and cheese, a wine glass filled with juice, a notebook and ketchup for chelsey. I had the glass in my mouth and I bit to hard and broke it in my mouth. I picked up all the peices and cleaned the floor and made sure chelseys mac and cheese was ok. Chelsey still yelled at me and made me feel bad. I think I swallowed some glass to. I had my razor so i did one cut on my thigh. It helped a little but I didn't want to do any more then one cuz of Eric. He's going to be upset when I tell him. So after picking up every little microscopic shard off the floor I fially went back down stairs and chelsey was on the computer for a little while and now she just went to bed. I'm kinda glad. I'm tired but I don't want to sleep. I need to wait till my leg stops bleeding first.