Me: Want me to tell you the descriptive theory of proper names?
Mike: Yes.
Me: "The meaning of a name n (for a speaker at a time) is given by a description, a conjunction of descriptions, or a cluster of descriptions D that the speaker associates with n at the time. If D gives the meaning of n, then substitution of one for another preserves both meaning and proposition expressed. Thus, if S' results from S by substitution of D for one or more occurances of n in S, then S and S' mean the same thing, and express the same proposition."
Mike: Okay, now tell me that story again, but this time be wearing a mini-skirt.
Also:
THIS! (Also: Philosophy is dumb. What the fuck.)