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I don't know what the hell I think I am doing. I'm just looking the other way with the truth staring me right in the face. Robbie is never going to sweep me off my feet, never going to "knock my socks off." I've already screwed that up too much to be able to fix it. There is never going to be anyone around when I need them. No one who will come
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Ok. So maybe Robbie WON'T ever sweep you off your feet, and knock your socks off. But so what? No one has the power to know the future. Maybe things will change between you and Robbie, maybe they won't. You're still in HS, so don't let the petty bullshit get you down. There is a whole new and exciting world outside of Pemberton, and the people out here are MUCH different. Just let all the mean things bounce right off of you, and make you all that much stronger. Trust me, guys dig a girl with confidence. And you said yourself that you have a great personality. Trust me....things will eventually get better. You just have to be patient.
Also, you should NEVER EVER say "I've already screwed that up too much to be able to fix it." A few years ago, I did something probably far worse than what you have done with Robbie. And I said the same thing. It haunted me for years after (and even more so over the summer), but you know what? I was able to make everything right again and get things the way they should have been back then. It's a long, difficult road, but if you are both willing to make things right then they can be made better.
I'm sure many of your friends will be there for you, even if they don't always act like it I know they care and worry about you. It's hard not too when you do so many things for them. And I'm sure your TRUE friends would still be there even if you stopped doing all of that.
*hugs*
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