(no subject)

[punkloveprinces]

I need another job. Money to pay for a car and clothes and a cell phone and just in general to improve my life.

I need to be pretty. I am almost convinced that if I were pretty, I would have it made. Every one of my guy friends says I'm nice, so I assume that the only reason they don't want me as anything but a friend is because I am not skinny. It's the only reason I can find.

I need to stop attracting guys who are taken, and to top that off I need to NOT encourage them. The bruises from the last one are still there.

I also need to stop convincing myself that Gavin's mistakes are my fault.

I need to keep the house a lot cleaner then it is.

I need to spend time with my dog.

I need to leave my hair the fuck alone.

I need to go into a period of mourning and self pity because yes, I've had brief periods, but they were never long enough to help me and they never got the point across.

I need to stop letting people use me. I am a leaning post but I am NOT a fucking trampoline and being stepped on HURTS. There is a point where you have to say stop.

I need to NOT get excited about 5 months from now. It just makes it worse.

I need to find someone who I can talk to. Gavin isn't there when I need him, Natalia and Hilton and Mer all have bigger problems then mine, and that leaves a big fat nobody, because Robbie doesn't talk.

I need to get Ariane a prom date, someone who will show her a good time and treat her the way a princess deserves to be treated.

I need to have a good prom date. I swear if he messes up my night I'm going to cut of his penis.

I need someone I can sleep next to at night, hell even curled up against, and not have to worry about inapropriate touching.

I need to visit with Cassie and Rhia.

I just need to throw it all away.