killing time..

[punklady]

well, the man has not awakened to make dinner and so i've resorted to ordering from pizza hut..so now i wait for my food to arrive so i can suffocate myself with pepperoni..as i sit here, trying in vain to find something worth watching on basic cable, i wonder if i'm really just a bad person inside...i really don't think i am cuz i know a lot of people like me and my son adores me..however, i put the man through so much hell i'm amazed that he still sticks around..i'm such a hard person to take sometimes, esp. when the person putting up with my ass is not used to being surrounded by such negative energy...i exude rage and negative vibes, or so everyone says..but at the same time, i can be peaceful..i just don't try very hard to do so...maybe i should..but i don't think i'm capable, or willing, of ignoring my basic nature...

Teaching Me To Be Bad

funny how i always used to wanna be the one everyone was after,
i was the one being chased, the one holding the evil power in her withering hands;
me, the villain on the tv screen.
the loose meanderings of childish thought,
the shrieks and laughter of make believe images were only my reality.
let's pretend!, i say with little girl excitement, let's pretend that i'm the robber running wildly, trying to get away from the black hand of justice, the probing fingers of invasion, the bars of criticism and unbridled contempt.
the money you covet, the wealth you wish to possess, teases you--
how bad do you want it?
bad enough that you'd lie?
bad enough that you'd steal?
bad enough that you'd cheat?
bad enough that you'd kill?
how bad do you want it?
i always wanted to be bad.