I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!


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For those of you who don't know (and that's probably everyone here) I'm actually lactose intolerant. Basically meaning my stomach goes to hell if I eat ordinary dairy products.

So why am I being such a dumbass and eating a desert that's filled with whipped cream?!?! MY STOMACH IS DYING.

I'm getting drunk.

I can't find my other sock any more ...I think itm too drunk tbh.

Holy shit, I just walked straight into an open door at work ...I was so tired I wasn't looking. Would be awesome if I got a black eye now and had to actually tell people that "I walked into a door."

.....My BF would be dragged to the police station accused of beating me :\

102010

Today has a funny date.

I bet someone thinks the world is ending today.