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[pumachk8907]

this is an apology, this is a plead.... this is my insanity and what keeps me going day in and day out.... read, think, comment or not..i dont even know if i will respond to your opinions...but i am tired of holding it in.........i know i have pushed you all away since everyhting happened.... some of you hav said nothing.... some of you got angry

Comments

I'm not sure if this fits with what you are saying but.......

[youhearmenow]

It amazes me Ashley that you are my cousin; I hardly know anything about you unless I read it on here and it blows me away because though we are different in age, you say a lot of the things I keep inside at times. I thought that once I left high school two years ago, friendships would come by easier, but I've learned that the only people you can always depend on, no matter what, is your family. I have "friends" right now that seem to only have time for one thing and since I'm not involved with that one thing, they don't bother calling. So calling them friends maybe isn't the right term. The only true friends I have are Steffi and Frank. Answers for the way one feels is so hard to find through other people. I know I'm struggling at the moment with myself and with truly feeling happy again. I've faked it for some time now that it's become second nature, but I'm tired of faking it. I want it to be real, but I know it will have to come within me and it's tough when things get in the way and f-up's my emotions. I'm not sure of you have my number (716-4499) but here it is. If you ever need some release, or a frappucino : ), I'm your girl.