Ever Waking 1/1
Title: Ever Waking
Author:
pul_the_triger
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: uhm R
POV: Gerard
Summary: when there is only silence as you mouth your words to me... in all sense against logic, the heavens should have made it different.
Disclaimer: I don't own them merely the plot
Dedication: for being wondeful and making this happen
eveseventy6
Beta: housemate and myself
Warnings: uhm... disorders(?)
Ever Waking
I gently rap my knuckles against the wall above my head a few times before I wait for the tell tale knock back that you had heard me. But there's no reply. Not that I blame you because you cannot hear me, but the fact that I would be the one who wakes up to your shy taps in the middle of the night.
I try to remember how long we've been here at the institute, the day the caregiver walked in with you in tow, how she left you with me. It only took me awhile to notice, I wrote something down that my world was also silent, how my lips moved to try to get you to understand.
We were inseperable ever since. I could hear my own voice through you and all you needed was my hand to hold.
I try knocking again just one more time before I just curl up under the bleached white sheets.
I can hear you inside my head again, like a soft whisper the wind uses to mock me on cold nights when I am not with you. How vividly I fear I can almost hear nothing more.
The voice is haunting inside my head as it echoes all my thoughts. And I reach out into the empty sheets, cold, lifeless. Only how empty it is. I mouth your words, willing myself to hear out, to let the night accept it, to let the silence accept that its not meant to shatter my own mind.
But again there is nothing, and I keep my arm extended into the distance, almost able to grasp something... anything. And i hear you, perhaps even myself, and it takes everything from me.
It felt like a dream I had several nights ago, when you reach deeper and deeper to get into the covers as you sleep to keep warm, but it's never enough, never enough. It was like the feeling of you right here, where the air is so still, that I can almost hear you breathe.
It sounds like a lullaby that began to fade, retreating ever so slowly into the abyss of forgetting, is that where you left me?
And I open my mouth as if to call you. If only to sing with you. Willing myself to stay awake, holding tight to the memory of you telling me those who never sleep never fade... and my lips move to accomodate your words, and finally, finally, my eyes fall close.
The small boy around the age of seven sneaks out of his room, institute tag hanging around his wrist losely, with the words FRANK IERO, AGE 7, DEAF, POST LINGUAL in bold black letters. He opens the door of the room right next to his and crawls into the bed nearest the window.
A boy older than him sleeps there, looking troubled in a nightmare, but as soon as he puts his arms around him protectively, he stops. And Frank plays with the tag around the boy's wrist GERARD WAY TRANSIENT INSOMNIA, INBORN DEAF. "Hush now," he mutters closing his eyes "No more nightmares. Those who never sleep never fade..."
And the night was still.
---------- ---------- ----------- -----------
Author's Note: so yeah their kids with hearing and speaking disorders, have you ever wondered what it would be like to sing and talk but never be able to hear yourself? or what if all you could do was hear and have a voice of your own?
ever wonder what people like that have to hold on to?
lots of love to eveseventy6 for putting up with me last night and making this happen :D
*gerard has transient insomnia, not as serious as chronic insomnia where you don't sleep at all and frank became deaf a bit after he learned to talk, so yes he can talk... and random fact the deaf can 'hear' vibrations...*
reviews=love updates=i love you all
link to my other oneshots here
Author:
pul_the_triger
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: uhm R
POV: Gerard
Summary: when there is only silence as you mouth your words to me... in all sense against logic, the heavens should have made it different.
Disclaimer: I don't own them merely the plot
Dedication: for being wondeful and making this happen
eveseventy6
Beta: housemate and myself
Warnings: uhm... disorders(?)
Ever Waking
I gently rap my knuckles against the wall above my head a few times before I wait for the tell tale knock back that you had heard me. But there's no reply. Not that I blame you because you cannot hear me, but the fact that I would be the one who wakes up to your shy taps in the middle of the night.
I try to remember how long we've been here at the institute, the day the caregiver walked in with you in tow, how she left you with me. It only took me awhile to notice, I wrote something down that my world was also silent, how my lips moved to try to get you to understand.
We were inseperable ever since. I could hear my own voice through you and all you needed was my hand to hold.
I try knocking again just one more time before I just curl up under the bleached white sheets.
I can hear you inside my head again, like a soft whisper the wind uses to mock me on cold nights when I am not with you. How vividly I fear I can almost hear nothing more.
The voice is haunting inside my head as it echoes all my thoughts. And I reach out into the empty sheets, cold, lifeless. Only how empty it is. I mouth your words, willing myself to hear out, to let the night accept it, to let the silence accept that its not meant to shatter my own mind.
But again there is nothing, and I keep my arm extended into the distance, almost able to grasp something... anything. And i hear you, perhaps even myself, and it takes everything from me.
It felt like a dream I had several nights ago, when you reach deeper and deeper to get into the covers as you sleep to keep warm, but it's never enough, never enough. It was like the feeling of you right here, where the air is so still, that I can almost hear you breathe.
It sounds like a lullaby that began to fade, retreating ever so slowly into the abyss of forgetting, is that where you left me?
And I open my mouth as if to call you. If only to sing with you. Willing myself to stay awake, holding tight to the memory of you telling me those who never sleep never fade... and my lips move to accomodate your words, and finally, finally, my eyes fall close.
The small boy around the age of seven sneaks out of his room, institute tag hanging around his wrist losely, with the words FRANK IERO, AGE 7, DEAF, POST LINGUAL in bold black letters. He opens the door of the room right next to his and crawls into the bed nearest the window.
A boy older than him sleeps there, looking troubled in a nightmare, but as soon as he puts his arms around him protectively, he stops. And Frank plays with the tag around the boy's wrist GERARD WAY TRANSIENT INSOMNIA, INBORN DEAF. "Hush now," he mutters closing his eyes "No more nightmares. Those who never sleep never fade..."
And the night was still.
---------- ---------- ----------- -----------
Author's Note: so yeah their kids with hearing and speaking disorders, have you ever wondered what it would be like to sing and talk but never be able to hear yourself? or what if all you could do was hear and have a voice of your own?
ever wonder what people like that have to hold on to?
lots of love to eveseventy6 for putting up with me last night and making this happen :D
*gerard has transient insomnia, not as serious as chronic insomnia where you don't sleep at all and frank became deaf a bit after he learned to talk, so yes he can talk... and random fact the deaf can 'hear' vibrations...*
reviews=love updates=i love you all
link to my other oneshots here