Gunshots Are Casualties 1/1
Title: Gunshots Are Casualties
Author:
pul_the_triger
Pairing: mainly Frank/Gerard and Gerard/Mikey
Rating: R
POV: Gerard
Summary: and i would ask you, would you believe me? if i told you i hid all your letters and never opened them. All because i was afraid i would lie to you again.
Disclaimer: i dont own them merely the plot
Author Notes: war setting. yeah, its for a entry from chemicalrequest
pnk_istenew_blk
Beta: a housemate and myself
Warnings: tragic(?) and cheating(?)
Gunshots Are Casualties
I started the letter again today, like I always do. I go over the thought whether I should tell you I love you today. If today was the last day, but I wouldn't know.
I wonder how many gunshots I heard earlier, or how many times I thought 'this is it', but as I write to you now, I look to my sleeping lover and the blank white walls of the canvas tent. How I slipped his clothes back on his sleeping form, and the thin blanket over us to keep us warm from the cold wind of snow.
It was the best way to keep warm, the best way to keep sane... or perhaps to stay human; to make love whenever we had the chance, whenever we could, cause it only meant the both of us were still alive.
I'm trying to start this letter again, to let you know I'm still alive, that I'm still here to come back to you. But the fact that I kept your letters in a pile here on the floor, unopened, for the fear of believing. Believing that somehow, I didn't love you anymore.
From the distance, I can hear cannons and guns resound into the night, how much they could no longer unerve me was unsettling. I pull him closer to me because I know he is afraid, he always is. Depending on me in the way you never wanted to, in the only way that could tell me you needed me.
He mutters and snuggles up closer to me and I smile. We would never say anything, as we would pass the day where we didn't need to fight, in silence. And as we marched forward to new battle ground, our hands would always be touching. But come night, we would cling tightly to each other, sometimes crying about how much this war is killing us inside.
I pick up the pencil and paper that I dropped earlier and I start writing again. Hello Love, I wonder what you're doing. I'm still here... I pause and wonder if I'm still doing the right thing. It looks like the war is ending soon, the enemy has too many casualties.
I can feel him breathing calmly against my chest, the sounds of death and thunder settling down in the back of his memory, safe from his dreams. I craddle him like that, relishing the thought about how well we fit together. In this small space of safety that we created together.
I want to come home and see you... I begin writing again, more fervently than before. I want to make it past the gunshots and lines of open fire and come back you. Just the two of us, in a house with a white picket fence, two childen (if thats possble between us) and a small yorkshire terrier named Skelly.
I want us to be happy, I want to see you grow old with me. I want to be everything you loved more than world. I want to stay next to you just to hear you breathe, and hold your hand tightly against my chest right over my heart. And i want to hold you close as you shiver with me beneath the rain.
Yes, I want to hold you. Just tell you how much you mean to me and trace my hands over your tattoos. I want to see you in a white dress walking down the aisle, and I'd be holding a bouquet of white thorned roses... The pencil broke in half in my hand, leaving a trail of blood in its wake, dripping down onto his face.
His eyes flutter open, confused at first as his irises focus, but his expression soon becomes gentle as he searches my eyes. He kisses my face, then my hands, lapping away at my wound until he's pleased with it. He lays on top of me, burying his face in the crook of my shoulder, a soft growl coming from the bottom of his throat.
He straddles me, bringing his lips to mine, kissing away my tears on his way, willing me to forget the people I killed today and the regret I store in my heart. The friction makes us both moan as he removes our clothes and he gets to work at preparing me.
I rush him at other times until he's thrusting into to me. Just tell him I love him... everything else on the cot was shoved from its place to accomodate how much we moved. And with our rythym we pushed each other to forget.
We come quietly, mouthing only the slightest mutter of the other's name as he fell on top of me. Paper like the other insignificant objects such as pillows and sheets lay abandoned on the floor as he breathes against my neck.
Come day break, the dry morning air caresses his face as he goes out to greet the snow with a small tinge in his hazel eyes. Turning his back on me saying out loud to no one in particular "No one believed me either." as he walked away.
My words are that forgotten, dwindling away to nothing in the ashes of war and masacre. Like how much I believed that I still love you and if I could write again this time, yes I would tell you I love you today... Because I only have enough hate in my heart to tell you I love you just one more time.
You however, will always be another casualty I had to sacrifice for war.
------ ------- -------- ------- ---------- ---------
Author's Note: I don't know why but I love my oneshots the most XD chap 5 for deck of cards will be up as soon as it comes back from my betas
*written in Gerard's Pov to Frank and he/him is Mikey*
Anyway review=love concrit=more love and updates=I love you all
Link to my other oneshots here
inspiration from prompts 256 (i started the letter), 257 (i wonder), 258 (snow and lights), 259 (true love is night jasmine ~ jim butcher, 260 (blank white walls) and promt 168 (postsecret), 102 (piles on the floor), 109 (the dry wind on his face), 116 (the second hand moved), 172 (no one believed me) from com all_unwritten
yes this came from the com chemicalrequest "almost all the time, you tell yourself you're loving somebody when you're just using them. this just looks like love" or "the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person"
Both come from Invisible Monsters (Chuck Palahniuk> from user
pnk_istenew_blk
Author:
pul_the_triger
Pairing: mainly Frank/Gerard and Gerard/Mikey
Rating: R
POV: Gerard
Summary: and i would ask you, would you believe me? if i told you i hid all your letters and never opened them. All because i was afraid i would lie to you again.
Disclaimer: i dont own them merely the plot
Author Notes: war setting. yeah, its for a entry from chemicalrequest
pnk_istenew_blk
Beta: a housemate and myself
Warnings: tragic(?) and cheating(?)
Gunshots Are Casualties
I started the letter again today, like I always do. I go over the thought whether I should tell you I love you today. If today was the last day, but I wouldn't know.
I wonder how many gunshots I heard earlier, or how many times I thought 'this is it', but as I write to you now, I look to my sleeping lover and the blank white walls of the canvas tent. How I slipped his clothes back on his sleeping form, and the thin blanket over us to keep us warm from the cold wind of snow.
It was the best way to keep warm, the best way to keep sane... or perhaps to stay human; to make love whenever we had the chance, whenever we could, cause it only meant the both of us were still alive.
I'm trying to start this letter again, to let you know I'm still alive, that I'm still here to come back to you. But the fact that I kept your letters in a pile here on the floor, unopened, for the fear of believing. Believing that somehow, I didn't love you anymore.
From the distance, I can hear cannons and guns resound into the night, how much they could no longer unerve me was unsettling. I pull him closer to me because I know he is afraid, he always is. Depending on me in the way you never wanted to, in the only way that could tell me you needed me.
He mutters and snuggles up closer to me and I smile. We would never say anything, as we would pass the day where we didn't need to fight, in silence. And as we marched forward to new battle ground, our hands would always be touching. But come night, we would cling tightly to each other, sometimes crying about how much this war is killing us inside.
I pick up the pencil and paper that I dropped earlier and I start writing again. Hello Love, I wonder what you're doing. I'm still here... I pause and wonder if I'm still doing the right thing. It looks like the war is ending soon, the enemy has too many casualties.
I can feel him breathing calmly against my chest, the sounds of death and thunder settling down in the back of his memory, safe from his dreams. I craddle him like that, relishing the thought about how well we fit together. In this small space of safety that we created together.
I want to come home and see you... I begin writing again, more fervently than before. I want to make it past the gunshots and lines of open fire and come back you. Just the two of us, in a house with a white picket fence, two childen (if thats possble between us) and a small yorkshire terrier named Skelly.
I want us to be happy, I want to see you grow old with me. I want to be everything you loved more than world. I want to stay next to you just to hear you breathe, and hold your hand tightly against my chest right over my heart. And i want to hold you close as you shiver with me beneath the rain.
Yes, I want to hold you. Just tell you how much you mean to me and trace my hands over your tattoos. I want to see you in a white dress walking down the aisle, and I'd be holding a bouquet of white thorned roses... The pencil broke in half in my hand, leaving a trail of blood in its wake, dripping down onto his face.
His eyes flutter open, confused at first as his irises focus, but his expression soon becomes gentle as he searches my eyes. He kisses my face, then my hands, lapping away at my wound until he's pleased with it. He lays on top of me, burying his face in the crook of my shoulder, a soft growl coming from the bottom of his throat.
He straddles me, bringing his lips to mine, kissing away my tears on his way, willing me to forget the people I killed today and the regret I store in my heart. The friction makes us both moan as he removes our clothes and he gets to work at preparing me.
I rush him at other times until he's thrusting into to me. Just tell him I love him... everything else on the cot was shoved from its place to accomodate how much we moved. And with our rythym we pushed each other to forget.
We come quietly, mouthing only the slightest mutter of the other's name as he fell on top of me. Paper like the other insignificant objects such as pillows and sheets lay abandoned on the floor as he breathes against my neck.
Come day break, the dry morning air caresses his face as he goes out to greet the snow with a small tinge in his hazel eyes. Turning his back on me saying out loud to no one in particular "No one believed me either." as he walked away.
My words are that forgotten, dwindling away to nothing in the ashes of war and masacre. Like how much I believed that I still love you and if I could write again this time, yes I would tell you I love you today... Because I only have enough hate in my heart to tell you I love you just one more time.
You however, will always be another casualty I had to sacrifice for war.
------ ------- -------- ------- ---------- ---------
Author's Note: I don't know why but I love my oneshots the most XD chap 5 for deck of cards will be up as soon as it comes back from my betas
*written in Gerard's Pov to Frank and he/him is Mikey*
Anyway review=love concrit=more love and updates=I love you all
Link to my other oneshots here
inspiration from prompts 256 (i started the letter), 257 (i wonder), 258 (snow and lights), 259 (true love is night jasmine ~ jim butcher, 260 (blank white walls) and promt 168 (postsecret), 102 (piles on the floor), 109 (the dry wind on his face), 116 (the second hand moved), 172 (no one believed me) from com all_unwritten
yes this came from the com chemicalrequest "almost all the time, you tell yourself you're loving somebody when you're just using them. this just looks like love" or "the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person"
Both come from Invisible Monsters (Chuck Palahniuk> from user
pnk_istenew_blk