Here, Again
It happens every time. My parents come for a visit, or we go to Iowa for a visit ... And then, when goodbyes happen, I have a hard time. I get really sad for awhile, and I begin pondering, again, this question I have pondered many times at different stages in my life: Should I move to Des Moines, IA?
I did it, once. And it was horrible. But I am realizing, now, it was horrible because of the situation I was in. My situation now is very, very different.
I am binge-watching Parenthood, and I am missing family. As much of a pain-in-the-butt most of my family is, I still miss them at the holidays. And my parents - I actually really, truly enjoy them and miss them. My friend moved back to the Midwest a year ago to be near his family when his mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers - and I know, faced with a similar situation, I would make the same choice. So I wonder: why wait for bad news to enjoy my parents?
And - as Arif and I move forward preparing for a family - it changes things. It has always been such a future concept - such a dream, an imagining - and now that it is becoming more of a reality, I am realizing how hard it will be to be so far away from my parents. They were the kind of parents - and would be the kind of grandparents - that would be at every sporting event, every school concert....
Beyond that, if we sold our Seattle assets, we could immediately be debt-free. We could buy a beautiful house in Des Moines, with cash. And we could move forward with our other dreams, in a way I am much more comfortable with - by saving up for them. We could travel more, get into real estate more, be more comfortable with me being home with the kids....
I always come back here, and I always end up confused. The best I can do is research the idea, discuss it with my husband (who is incredibly open to the idea - another plus, my parents get along beautifully with him), and just proceed with caution.
More and more, though, more and more, what I want in this life is changing.
I did it, once. And it was horrible. But I am realizing, now, it was horrible because of the situation I was in. My situation now is very, very different.
I am binge-watching Parenthood, and I am missing family. As much of a pain-in-the-butt most of my family is, I still miss them at the holidays. And my parents - I actually really, truly enjoy them and miss them. My friend moved back to the Midwest a year ago to be near his family when his mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers - and I know, faced with a similar situation, I would make the same choice. So I wonder: why wait for bad news to enjoy my parents?
And - as Arif and I move forward preparing for a family - it changes things. It has always been such a future concept - such a dream, an imagining - and now that it is becoming more of a reality, I am realizing how hard it will be to be so far away from my parents. They were the kind of parents - and would be the kind of grandparents - that would be at every sporting event, every school concert....
Beyond that, if we sold our Seattle assets, we could immediately be debt-free. We could buy a beautiful house in Des Moines, with cash. And we could move forward with our other dreams, in a way I am much more comfortable with - by saving up for them. We could travel more, get into real estate more, be more comfortable with me being home with the kids....
I always come back here, and I always end up confused. The best I can do is research the idea, discuss it with my husband (who is incredibly open to the idea - another plus, my parents get along beautifully with him), and just proceed with caution.
More and more, though, more and more, what I want in this life is changing.