May 19, 2008 21:53
Buddha
"Da more you know... Da less you die."
When the McKitchen family's son AhnLe brings home two stone Buddhas purchased for the suspiciously low price of $1 each from Valouse, the former prosperous dollar store and now neglected discount shop where he works, the McKitchens thought themselves blessed with good fortune. But as the Buddhas sat framing the entrance to the McKitchen home, was something more hatching under the summer sun?
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“Dat Buddha, Noa. Dey bugs comin' outta he head. Dere lilla holes in he head bugs comin' out.”
*the McKitchen children share various looks and comments of disbelief*
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“Dey is comin' outta he hair! Sooo many BUG!”
“Buddha doesn't have hair, Mom.”
“Well. He hava lump lump lump on he head and bug come outta he lump lump lump!”
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“There weren't any holes on their heads.”
“Dey lilla, lilla! Dey lilla lika...lika tip of pin! But you see dem cause dey RED. Dey red like BLOOD.”
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“Maybe Buddha hurt his head.”
“You kid, dat ain't laughin' ting. No bug like dat come from round hea.”
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“I show Towel! Towel, she see dem too! She see dem, lilla bug red like BLOOD.”
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“I wanna see the bugs on Buddha's head.”
“So do I.”
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“It's too dark out here, I can't see.”
“Yeah, let's take it inside.”
“Ew, Le, gross, what if there's really something on it?”
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“LE! YOU TAKE DAT TING OUT SIDE RAI NOW! I DON WANT DOSE TINGS INSIDE MY HOUSE!”
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*You see?”
“Wow, yeah. There aren't very many, though.”
“I pour bleach on hea head I kill dem.”
“You poured bleach on Buddha's head?”
“Well, I kill dem. But you make sure your window close dey don't get inside.”
“But my window was open all day...”
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“Your cousin, dey got two Buddha too.”
“Did you tell them to pour bleach on their heads?”
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“I got two Buddha's from my store for the other cousins, but...”
“Yea?”
“When I was driving home, a cat ran right in front of my car, and I slammed on the breaks. The Buddhas slid forward and hit the seat, and their heads broke off.”
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“Suppa glue. Ya see? I give our to cousin we keep dese ones.”
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But when Mama, Papa, and ChiNoa McKitchen leave to vacation in their house in Oregon, leaving AhnLe and Lola the cat alone for a whole month...
...What will be left..
WHEN
THEY
GET
BACK?
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“Oh my gooness, honey dea!”
BUDDHA
COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU
mama,
family