How?
When I work too long, my brain likes to keep me interested in other things, so it doesn't get too stressed out. You know. It's only trying to help.
So far I have, just as some examples...
- Glanced at the pointy piece of obsidian on my desk several times in the last hour, wishing I could have had it back when I was mimicking cutting my wrists in that picture with Charleston, realizing that it would probably be even harder to see than the key, and deciding what angle I should hold it at so that I might make it easier to see in the picture that has already been taken. Over and over again.
- Suddenly wondering if that one time around a week ago when the teacher was looking in my general direction and saying something about a good student always coming to class in their pajamas was talking about me, and wondering if my purple sweater looks anything like pajamas
- That whole "cute" thing.
- Wondered if the loud buzzing sound from my computer is bugging my roommate even though it has been doing that since I moved in. She leaves, I stop noticing it. She comes back, I notice it and wonder again.
- Noticed some wicked liar person must have told some other crazy person I was good at Japanese, and then randomly through the night started trying to decide if it was falsely modest to say no, since I have been doing it a long time and seem to be keeping up with the class and remembering more now, or if it's fine to say no because I have been doing this too long and suck and most of what I know was stuff I learned within the past year, most of which I will forget in the next.
- Wondering if someone else is in the suite mates room. You think there's no one there. And then a person pops out and goes away. Then surely it must be empty. But then a half hour later another person pops out. And then an hour and a half later. And then an hour later. And then you notice it's probably been the same guy almost every time. How did they get in? How?
So far I have, just as some examples...
- Glanced at the pointy piece of obsidian on my desk several times in the last hour, wishing I could have had it back when I was mimicking cutting my wrists in that picture with Charleston, realizing that it would probably be even harder to see than the key, and deciding what angle I should hold it at so that I might make it easier to see in the picture that has already been taken. Over and over again.
- Suddenly wondering if that one time around a week ago when the teacher was looking in my general direction and saying something about a good student always coming to class in their pajamas was talking about me, and wondering if my purple sweater looks anything like pajamas
- That whole "cute" thing.
- Wondered if the loud buzzing sound from my computer is bugging my roommate even though it has been doing that since I moved in. She leaves, I stop noticing it. She comes back, I notice it and wonder again.
- Noticed some wicked liar person must have told some other crazy person I was good at Japanese, and then randomly through the night started trying to decide if it was falsely modest to say no, since I have been doing it a long time and seem to be keeping up with the class and remembering more now, or if it's fine to say no because I have been doing this too long and suck and most of what I know was stuff I learned within the past year, most of which I will forget in the next.
- Wondering if someone else is in the suite mates room. You think there's no one there. And then a person pops out and goes away. Then surely it must be empty. But then a half hour later another person pops out. And then an hour and a half later. And then an hour later. And then you notice it's probably been the same guy almost every time. How did they get in? How?