A truly revealing rant, likely only to myself
My struggle with humanity does truly come from the fact that humanity cannot be saved. Not because they are physically incapable, but because it is human nature to be a human being. Humans are stubborn. My curse is that I am intelligent enough to see that losing the shell we define as humanity takes us to the next level. Life is beautiful because of the feeling. Life is beautiful because it is life. Because it is personal. It cannot be any other way. We all look down on people we view as less intelligent than ourselves because they have chosen some simple stupid path so that they did not have to feel. We think that we have to be happy, so we find ways to fool ourselves into being so. Happiness is understanding. We all seek pleasure from being the master. That is the realization that is necessary. Every person knows for a fact that they are right. And converations and life are changed by that. Every thought becomes a question of whether or not the right thing is being done. But I know right from wrong, as do you. It does not take analysis, right is a feeling. Most people feel as you and I do, we want to improve the world, but we feel as if we are alone in trying to do so. We have given up. We have lost faith. I write to you now and question what it is that you are questioning. Do you truly think people are bad-natured or do you think that they simply are not wise enough to see the value in self-evident life lessons? The reason people are confident is because the have seen a truth that is proven. In their mind their is no doubting it. Your thoughts are right, I admit that. They are my thoughts. We have asked ourselves different questions because of different experiences but my nature, my ability to care is human nature. People, like you, and the me that clings, are insecure. But we are insecure because we expect nothing from people. We expect them to let us down. Human beings are social beings and feeling alone will drive a human crazy. But why are we alone? Why do all people differentiate themselves? Because we think we are flawed. We are terrified of the idea of feeling badly. So we do not allow ourselves to feel. Numbness is human. Seeking meaning is human. We think we know everything, and as such we do not allow ourselves to really think about anything. We think about only the side of things we are familiar with and comfortable with because we do not want to be hurt. It is human nature to grow desensitized. We are supposed to learn how to live. But what good is a life lived in fear. We all are passionate. We all care. We are all afraid to. So we doubt. We do not trust. We push people away that do not fit our standards. And then we judge people who are less accepting than we are. The reason our experience is so dismal is because we doubt every minute of it. We always seek meaning. We seek more. To define. The real question is why I am here. Why I am alive? What is the meaning of that? Why does "it" matter? Why do I exist? The answer is incredibly evident though. I have been placed on this earth to live. To make mistakes. To be afraid that the condom broke and I might have to dedicate my life to something that I will probably look back on as a mistake, an impatient desire. We assume we are different, or better, but we don't see that everyone does that. We wish to be in control, but we cannot. We say that accepting people who are different means we understand and value their viewpoint but that is not accepting. Acceptance is realizing tha just as you and I are flawed, so is everyone else. So move on from that point. We are all flawed. We all do not want to be. Most of us want to help people by expressing the wisdom we have learned. We worry so much about spreading our own gospel, that is self-evident, that we never actually live by it. We want people to live the truths we have discovered. We want people to try out our truths. The divine intellient part of human beings is doomed because it comes from awkwardness and innocence. We desire trust and innocence, pure feelings, from others. We know if people would just stop being afriad and trust what we had to say everything would be good. I am simply saying you are right. I will try your ideas out. As long as you do the same for me. Treat me as an equal. You desire to be treated as an equal, to be respected, but we are all too close-minded to truly step out of our comfort zone and understand how someone thinks. I am ignoring every little self-evident truth you have discovered by preaching to you. I am simple saying I will let you preach if you will let me. I derive my meaning from the same things you do. Don't make me apologize for thinking like you. I will not make you apologize for having a valid opinion or an intellect, treat me the same. If we cannot accept that people can not deal with people well than we have standards for people that are not human. We are penalizing people because we are afraid we are the only smart people left. We do not look for other truly similar people because we are convinced that we are alone, and our evidence is we do not ever see similar people. You have to look for something to find it. You have to believe it is there. To be happy you have to be innocent and naive and sweet. Innocence is simply being happy with everything around you. We assume because innocence is old and outdated it is bad, and then our culture has the nerve to feel numb. Simplicity and innocence are being thrilled with the world. Feeling. Being happy. We have the guide as to how to be happy just for some reason we associate innocence and ignorance or innocence and stupidity. I assure you they do not even coincide. I am proof. I am at least of similar intelligence to you and I am innocent. Stop judging innocence and simply be it. Trust in it. Everyone wants things to be simpler. Do it. We know right from wrong we will generally do right. We will make mistakes, but in the end we will have decent lives simply because we will desire to improve our lives at every point. You know the answers. I know the answers. I just know that I know them. Things really are that simple. Things are what they seem. Most people will hurt you, that is why a few are so special. We try to treat every moment of our lives as special and happy, but that means we will never have a truly special, happy moment. We do not realize that we have to be dissapointed often to ever be happy. Depression is human nature. Because it creates beauty. Depression is simply boredom. Lack of people or things that truly interest you. We have stopped judging, and as such lost all feeling. The children were taught all of the important lessons, just much too early. All of the stories, the fairy tales that we were told as children were told by adults. They were written by adults. Adults who still saw the value. Still appreciated life. Re-examine the lessons you once held to be true. Happy ever after is simple. You just have to have a realistic definition of what that actually means.