Oh Primus...
I AM NOW TERRIFIED OF GYSPSIES. I went to see some with my friend today, and had a lovely conversation along these lines with a man name 'Brickhead', named such because appearently that's his favorite way to kill people, who talked faster than Blurr:
Brickhead: Hello!
Puffi: Um, hi?
Brickhead: You like cats?
Puffi: Well, sure, but I'm more of a dog person.
Brickhead: You like dugs?
Puffi: ...What?
Brickhead: Digs?
Puffi: ...Um...
Brickhead: Dougs?
Puffi: OH! Oh, dogs. Yeah, I like dogs.
Brickhead: Like pigs better. Eat entire bodies, digest it all.
Puffi: !!! Um.... (I'm in trouble.)
Brickhead: Except hair and teeth.
Puffi: That's... That's awesome. (Oh fuck I'm dead!)
Brickhead: Ya! Anyway, she says you can get your hands on caravan?
Puffi: Caravan?
Brickhead: Caravan!
Puffi: I... I don't know what that it.
Brickhead: Why the fuck you lying to me?! You know, caravan! Honk, beep, vroom!
Puffi: (OHFUCKI'MSCREWED-Oh wait!) You mean RV?!
Brickhead: Ya! Ya! Periwinkle blue! For me ma!
Puffi: You want a periwinkle blue RV?
Brickhead: Ya! Is for me ma!
Puffi: You know what man, I ever find a fucking periwinkle blue RV, it is yours. In fact, I'm going to go look for one right now.
I ran out of there as fast as I could.
And the moral of that story, kids, is WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU DO, DON'T GO SEE THE GYPSIES BY THE SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPI RIVER. IF YOU MUST, DON'T TALK TO THE MAN NAMED BRICKHEAD. AND IF YOU TALK TO THE MAN NAMED BRICKHEAD, YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN SURE YOUR ASS CAN FIND A PERIWINKLE BLUE RV FOR HIS MOTHER.
Brickhead: Hello!
Puffi: Um, hi?
Brickhead: You like cats?
Puffi: Well, sure, but I'm more of a dog person.
Brickhead: You like dugs?
Puffi: ...What?
Brickhead: Digs?
Puffi: ...Um...
Brickhead: Dougs?
Puffi: OH! Oh, dogs. Yeah, I like dogs.
Brickhead: Like pigs better. Eat entire bodies, digest it all.
Puffi: !!! Um.... (I'm in trouble.)
Brickhead: Except hair and teeth.
Puffi: That's... That's awesome. (Oh fuck I'm dead!)
Brickhead: Ya! Anyway, she says you can get your hands on caravan?
Puffi: Caravan?
Brickhead: Caravan!
Puffi: I... I don't know what that it.
Brickhead: Why the fuck you lying to me?! You know, caravan! Honk, beep, vroom!
Puffi: (OHFUCKI'MSCREWED-Oh wait!) You mean RV?!
Brickhead: Ya! Ya! Periwinkle blue! For me ma!
Puffi: You want a periwinkle blue RV?
Brickhead: Ya! Is for me ma!
Puffi: You know what man, I ever find a fucking periwinkle blue RV, it is yours. In fact, I'm going to go look for one right now.
I ran out of there as fast as I could.
And the moral of that story, kids, is WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU DO, DON'T GO SEE THE GYPSIES BY THE SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPI RIVER. IF YOU MUST, DON'T TALK TO THE MAN NAMED BRICKHEAD. AND IF YOU TALK TO THE MAN NAMED BRICKHEAD, YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN SURE YOUR ASS CAN FIND A PERIWINKLE BLUE RV FOR HIS MOTHER.