(no subject)

[puer_lilitu]

she's moved back to the north shore by now. there's a strange sense of solace and closure in that. at least the drive is no longer a landmine field of possible random encounters. only ghosts left there now. we've gotten better at dealing with those, we feel.

still hard not to just hate her. still hard not to just hate ourselves. still hard to keep going.

right now, though, there are those who need us. if only for moving. so we use up our energy in the pursuits of others, because at least its something. focus on others because at least its not focusing on us. focusing on us is dangerous for our continued survival.

I'm in love with your pills
now I can get rid of myself
if all of this kills
why am I so hard on myself?
in this town when the sun goes down
you party, I pay the bills

in this room I look around
at everything I've built

and it don't mean a thing
ain't it terrible to think?

she's in it for the money, you know love don't cost a thing
built your heart a diamond and it don't need no ring
it gets me lying sideways and every time I sing it, she's
in it for the money, you know love don't mean a thing...
she's in it for the money, you know love don't mean a thing

Patty, shine a light down on me tonight
battalions take charge and die but not take nothing
Patty shine a light down on me tonight
down on me tonight...
straight down on me...
straight down on me...

I'm in love with your pills
I tried to get rid of myself
a little red, a little blue
climb the walls, how about you?

and it don't mean a thing
ain't that terrible to think?

she's in it for the money, you know love don't cost a thing
build your heart a diamond and it don't need no ring
it gets me lying sideways and every time I sing it she's
in it for the money, you know love don't mean a thing...
she's in it for the money, you know love don't mean a thing...
she's in it for the money, you know love don't mean a thing

goodnight.