I always miss the really obvious stuff.

[puella_nerdii]

So I do think I've recovered from the latest crippling bout of self-doubt, mostly.

Those of you who know me know that I procrastinate like hell. Not because I'm averse to doing work, but because I'm a perfectionist to the highest degree, and the task of sitting down/standing up/assuming whatever position is necessary and working on something

Comments

[grazie]

I have much the same problem-- and this is only reinforced by the fact that when I tend to go back over research papers that I waited until the last minute to do, I find them full of logic holes and times where I simply... do not complete an argument or get off subject.

But this is... Academic writing more than novel writing. I wish you much luck!

[puella_nerdii]

Thanks! I -- er, perhaps I shall dare to be hopeful.

...I am admittedly guilty with the same thing with academia, except possibly more so because I actually AM good at writing papers at the last minute. I tend to get As on them. My bad habits are positively reinforced. /facepalm

[grazie]

I'm much better at writing stories, I think. I just have this horrible problem of Not Finishing them because I don't have the same deadlines to worry about.

I've gotten better at paper writing since I've come to college at least! Maybe I've learned a thing or two after all in these past four years. This paper I'm finishing up isn't going to be my masterpiece or anything, but I am looking forward to sharing some of my resources for it at "Undone Sundays."

[puella_nerdii]

Ooooooh, what's the paper on? *tentyfingers*

With stories, I think I tend to -- not run out of steam, exactly, but I hit a bump and end up turning the bump into a mountain of Oh God How Am I Going To Get Past This I Do Not Know Enough And I Suck. Hetalia's made it worse, in some ways, because I am convinced that I have to research everything ever before I can even type a friggin' sentence.

[grazie]

Comparing and contrasting three different theories on gender and sexuality, but it's proving quite difficult to get to that last page. I may have to go back and fluff something up somewhere. But I found Foucault an interesting read, and reading Peter Gay's 'Education of the Senses' was just entertaining.

I may just share my entire reading list for this class-- it's quite interesting.

Oh yes! Hetalia HAS made that worse. I've had that paradox a lot with roleplaying too, actually. I don't feel nervous at all with America because-- well, it's my job to know American history and especially American foreign policy. But when it comes to Austria, I freeze up. Because I literally do not have time to research the country very well, and there's always this feeling that if you say the Slightest Thing Wrong, you'll be stepping on toes. It's kind of terrible!

[puella_nerdii]

Yes, do! It sounds like a good class, and Foucault's definitely interesting, no? I've read quite a lot of him over the past year, and I find his theory useful, if a bit -- well, French (ie: with the occasional maddening moments of aloofness and "oh yes I know what I am saying and I will leave it to you to puzzle out, no?")

yyyyyyyyeah, and I get that way about America, too -- I know a good bit about American history, especially after all the self-study I've done over the past year (!), but I'm afraid of contradicting the actual historical record...in terms of the concrete details, at least, like saying something was built in 1972 when it was built in 1984. I am getting better with the emotional subjectivity thing. (I think I get it worst when I write China, because seriously, what do I know about the subjective experience of being Chinese? But, well, I try.)

[grazie]

YES, but the way I figure it is he basically repeats himself over and over. I didn't have much trouble with reading him, but Peter Gay is much easier to read. We actually have a book in there that goes into detail about how male fantasies can create fascism, if you work too hard to deny them. BUT that is not what saying yes is about-- but it's still interesting.

You know, you should pick up "Son of the Revolution." I forgot who it was buy, but it's a sort of autobiography written by a Chinese student who lived during the Cultural revolution. It my provide some insight for you on the emotional subjectivity, as far as China is concerned.