The Sheffield Thermometer
50 Degrees. Southerners turn on their heating. Sheffielders plant their
gardens.
40 Degrees. Southerners shiver uncontrollably. Sheffielders Sunbathe.
30 Degrees. Southern cars will not start. Sheffielders drive with their
windows down
20 Degrees. Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. Sheffielders
throw on a t-shirt on and girls start wearing mini-skirts
10 Degrees. Southerners begin to Evacuate.Sheffielders go swimming in
the North Sea.
Zero degrees. Southern landlords turn up the heat. Sheffielders have the
last barbecue before it gets cold.
Minus 10 Degrees. Southerners cease to exist. Sheffielders throw on a
lightweight jacket.
Minus 80 Degrees. Polar bears wonder if it's worth it. Sheffield Boy
scouts start wearing long trousers.
Minus 100 Degrees. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Sheffielders put
on their long johns.
Minus 173 Degrees. Alcohol freezes. Sheffielders become frustrated
because the pubs are shut.
Minus 297 Degrees. Microbiological life starts to disappear. Sheep on
Totley moor complain of vets with cold hands.
Minus 460 Degrees. All atomic motion stops. Sheffielders start to stamp
their feet and blow on their hands.
Minus 500 Degrees. Hell freezes over. Sheffield Wednesday qualify for
Europe
gardens.
40 Degrees. Southerners shiver uncontrollably. Sheffielders Sunbathe.
30 Degrees. Southern cars will not start. Sheffielders drive with their
windows down
20 Degrees. Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. Sheffielders
throw on a t-shirt on and girls start wearing mini-skirts
10 Degrees. Southerners begin to Evacuate.Sheffielders go swimming in
the North Sea.
Zero degrees. Southern landlords turn up the heat. Sheffielders have the
last barbecue before it gets cold.
Minus 10 Degrees. Southerners cease to exist. Sheffielders throw on a
lightweight jacket.
Minus 80 Degrees. Polar bears wonder if it's worth it. Sheffield Boy
scouts start wearing long trousers.
Minus 100 Degrees. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Sheffielders put
on their long johns.
Minus 173 Degrees. Alcohol freezes. Sheffielders become frustrated
because the pubs are shut.
Minus 297 Degrees. Microbiological life starts to disappear. Sheep on
Totley moor complain of vets with cold hands.
Minus 460 Degrees. All atomic motion stops. Sheffielders start to stamp
their feet and blow on their hands.
Minus 500 Degrees. Hell freezes over. Sheffield Wednesday qualify for
Europe