Woeful Wednesday! Oh no!
The gripes of today:
1) If I have to spend even one more minute with white men in business suits I think I shall scream.
2) After over an hour on the phone, if I have to spend any more time today trying to sort out the mess that my mother's Medicare and supplemental insurance has become, I shall begin randomly stabbing people, resulting in "suicide by cop."
3) If the ex fuckbuddy who suddenly turned to treating me like crap every time I ran into him in public, who is now desperately trying to ingratiate himself to me because he wants to get with a friend of mine, doesn't fuck off and die immediately I shall send him to that place.
4) If I don't have sex at some point within the next week someone is going to pay a blistering price.
5) If I can't do something about these goddamn remnant lovehandles soon I'm going at 'em with a vacuum cleaner attachment and some rubbing alcohol.
The good things today:
1) After two years of studiously ignoring everything I have done to lose weight and get in better shape, the hubby suddenly reached out, grabbed my upper arm and said "Wow, you have some muscles now." Small steps, but appreciated.
2) It is Wednesday. Vacation starts on Friday night. Praise Beelzebub.
3) Tomorrow, I go out for drinks with interesting people. This gives me short term hope.
4) A friend who has been a relentless pit of need has suddenly realized that our relationship had turned entirely one-way and is now seeking to pay attention to my life a bit. This is good, as I am no longer considering walking away from the whole thing. There are limits after all.
5) OK, this is a reach, but later today I am going to let myself indulge in a carb-y goodness. I haven't decided what it shall be yet, but I shall relish it. Maybe oink while I eat it.
Yes, I am a Crabby McCrabberson today. Some days I just can't help it. Today I feel more than a bit overwhelmed and scared and it is bubbling up into the light. So much is out of my control but can still have a huge impact on my life. It is easy to say glib things like "worry solves nothing," but while that may be true it is also substantively a load of happy horseshit. Worry is the logical human response to impending doom - otherwise you have been drinking the Kool-Aid in Jonestown. It's just hard to try and limit the impact of the worry.
Today's worry alert level is: PANIC.
1) If I have to spend even one more minute with white men in business suits I think I shall scream.
2) After over an hour on the phone, if I have to spend any more time today trying to sort out the mess that my mother's Medicare and supplemental insurance has become, I shall begin randomly stabbing people, resulting in "suicide by cop."
3) If the ex fuckbuddy who suddenly turned to treating me like crap every time I ran into him in public, who is now desperately trying to ingratiate himself to me because he wants to get with a friend of mine, doesn't fuck off and die immediately I shall send him to that place.
4) If I don't have sex at some point within the next week someone is going to pay a blistering price.
5) If I can't do something about these goddamn remnant lovehandles soon I'm going at 'em with a vacuum cleaner attachment and some rubbing alcohol.
The good things today:
1) After two years of studiously ignoring everything I have done to lose weight and get in better shape, the hubby suddenly reached out, grabbed my upper arm and said "Wow, you have some muscles now." Small steps, but appreciated.
2) It is Wednesday. Vacation starts on Friday night. Praise Beelzebub.
3) Tomorrow, I go out for drinks with interesting people. This gives me short term hope.
4) A friend who has been a relentless pit of need has suddenly realized that our relationship had turned entirely one-way and is now seeking to pay attention to my life a bit. This is good, as I am no longer considering walking away from the whole thing. There are limits after all.
5) OK, this is a reach, but later today I am going to let myself indulge in a carb-y goodness. I haven't decided what it shall be yet, but I shall relish it. Maybe oink while I eat it.
Yes, I am a Crabby McCrabberson today. Some days I just can't help it. Today I feel more than a bit overwhelmed and scared and it is bubbling up into the light. So much is out of my control but can still have a huge impact on my life. It is easy to say glib things like "worry solves nothing," but while that may be true it is also substantively a load of happy horseshit. Worry is the logical human response to impending doom - otherwise you have been drinking the Kool-Aid in Jonestown. It's just hard to try and limit the impact of the worry.
Today's worry alert level is: PANIC.