Peekaboo, I see you!
Different realms of existence should rarely, if ever, cross-pollinate. The resulting hybrids are often quite bizarre, bear little resemblance to either parent, and are usually sterile. Much like horse + mule = donkey, or a hybrid rose that produces no seeds, some things may fit together but often don't result in a fully functioning object.
The online realm and the physical realm are the point today.
Now, anyone who has been part of the technological revolution in regard to, ahem, "romantic" interactions is aware of the potential for WILDLY digressing comparisons between the image online and the physical reality. We've all had to get out of that sticky situation.
"Object is not as it appears in sideview mirror."
This is why any representation of myself in electronic land is as witheringly honest as I can stand. I had one date years and years ago from Match.com, on which I had a VERY accurate profile and picture. This guy and I chatted online and on the phone for weeks. His profile was nice, and his pic was OK, so I thought "Well, why not meet?" We met for coffee. His pic had been very inaccurate. It showed an OK looking guy. What appeared was a man who was so gorgeous he blew the doors off the coffee shop on entering. We had coffee, and he was hostile. Apparently, I was NOT what he was expecting.
I don't know what was wrong with my ad - but apparently there was something indeed. At least for him - no one else complained.
I've also had the experience, as have all of you with a mix of urges and slut-factor, of showing up at a trick's place you met online to discover radical departures from his online image. Not. Cool. The awkward excuses I have used to escape in these situations were pretty pathetic. I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
And, of course, here in LJ land, I have had the (very, very, very rare) experience of meeting someone in the flesh who was interesting online but turned out to have no noticeable personality in real life and, in one case, was only there to try and get his hands on Mr. Happy. (Before panic or offense sets in, none of the people involved are likely to be reading this, as they don't appear to read me anymore). This was also disappointing.
However, sometimes, cross-pollination of the flesh and the electronic realm just results in funny. This weekend provided an example of that. There is a guy I see up in the country at our village store quite frequently, and at other locations in the area. He is hard to miss, hitting about 6'4" tall and about 240 lbs. of very built muscle. He is very dark, with a thick black goatee. I would place him at about 50 years old. Did I mention he is extremely hot? I think that impression needs to be given here. He stares at me funny at the shop sometimes, but the one time I said something innocuous he scuttled off afraid.
Well, it turns out he also lives in New York City, not just up in the country. He popped up online, and said "hello" to me, though he clearly didn't know he knew me from elsewhere. I responded with a "Hey, nice to see you again! We run into each other at Otto's Market all the time - how are you?" With that, he signed off in a panic. I think he tries to keep his naughty side utterly segregated. The funny thing was his profile, though. His given age was 40 years old. If he is 40, then I am 30. And it is quite sad to see - this guy is unquestionably hot, but there is no way on earth anyone is going to mistake him for 40 on seeing him in person. I wonder how that works out for him in real life - or if he just scares them so much on arrival due to his size that they all give in!
It will be interesting to run into him again at the store, and see how he reacts. Oh, and he should have recognized me - all online presences I have use the same photo, which others can attest is accurate. Alas, he must never have truly noticed me. I'm hurt.
But at least I'm not lying about my age, by a wide margin.
The online realm and the physical realm are the point today.
Now, anyone who has been part of the technological revolution in regard to, ahem, "romantic" interactions is aware of the potential for WILDLY digressing comparisons between the image online and the physical reality. We've all had to get out of that sticky situation.
"Object is not as it appears in sideview mirror."
This is why any representation of myself in electronic land is as witheringly honest as I can stand. I had one date years and years ago from Match.com, on which I had a VERY accurate profile and picture. This guy and I chatted online and on the phone for weeks. His profile was nice, and his pic was OK, so I thought "Well, why not meet?" We met for coffee. His pic had been very inaccurate. It showed an OK looking guy. What appeared was a man who was so gorgeous he blew the doors off the coffee shop on entering. We had coffee, and he was hostile. Apparently, I was NOT what he was expecting.
I don't know what was wrong with my ad - but apparently there was something indeed. At least for him - no one else complained.
I've also had the experience, as have all of you with a mix of urges and slut-factor, of showing up at a trick's place you met online to discover radical departures from his online image. Not. Cool. The awkward excuses I have used to escape in these situations were pretty pathetic. I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
And, of course, here in LJ land, I have had the (very, very, very rare) experience of meeting someone in the flesh who was interesting online but turned out to have no noticeable personality in real life and, in one case, was only there to try and get his hands on Mr. Happy. (Before panic or offense sets in, none of the people involved are likely to be reading this, as they don't appear to read me anymore). This was also disappointing.
However, sometimes, cross-pollination of the flesh and the electronic realm just results in funny. This weekend provided an example of that. There is a guy I see up in the country at our village store quite frequently, and at other locations in the area. He is hard to miss, hitting about 6'4" tall and about 240 lbs. of very built muscle. He is very dark, with a thick black goatee. I would place him at about 50 years old. Did I mention he is extremely hot? I think that impression needs to be given here. He stares at me funny at the shop sometimes, but the one time I said something innocuous he scuttled off afraid.
Well, it turns out he also lives in New York City, not just up in the country. He popped up online, and said "hello" to me, though he clearly didn't know he knew me from elsewhere. I responded with a "Hey, nice to see you again! We run into each other at Otto's Market all the time - how are you?" With that, he signed off in a panic. I think he tries to keep his naughty side utterly segregated. The funny thing was his profile, though. His given age was 40 years old. If he is 40, then I am 30. And it is quite sad to see - this guy is unquestionably hot, but there is no way on earth anyone is going to mistake him for 40 on seeing him in person. I wonder how that works out for him in real life - or if he just scares them so much on arrival due to his size that they all give in!
It will be interesting to run into him again at the store, and see how he reacts. Oh, and he should have recognized me - all online presences I have use the same photo, which others can attest is accurate. Alas, he must never have truly noticed me. I'm hurt.
But at least I'm not lying about my age, by a wide margin.