I'm Bringing Sexy Back...
It was gonna happen sooner or later. It's inevitable, and basically was not a matter of if but when. What am I talking about? Thats right... the baby pictures! There is a time, in every self-absorbed prats life when he has to suck it up, accept the good with the bad, and wallow in the public embarrassment of his youth. In a way it's a form of therapy, amongst many forms of therapy. It's symbolic of cutting the tethers of ones past, and acknowledging that nothing matters but the future. For prior to its cocooned imprisonment, the caterpillar was a creature of a hideous nature. Reviled by all, loved by none. Except perhaps its parents. But like the swan song of the ugly duckling, the caterpillar knew that it's time would come. For the day would come when it would break free of the shackles of its shell, and burst forth into the world a creature anew. For what was once a beast, was now..... beautiful.
Now why the fuck couldn't that happen to me?! Many years later... same small mouth, same squinty eyes, same shit hair, and same issues of being vertically challenged. DAMMIT!!! I hate you butterflies, I hate you all so bad!!! I hate you all with all the green grapes of envy in the world!!!
Okay, now lets move on. I've just picked up a whole stack of photos of me in various stages of development over the course of my life. What we're doing is finding photos of us to scan and incorporate into a video that we plan to present at our wedding. Assuming the video turns out well of course. So here is the first couple that I've scanned in. Gosh.... no wonder I didn't get my first kiss, nor even a handhold... not to mention a girlfriend until I was 20!! Or thereabouts.... Hey kid, you're a looooooooooooooossssserrrrrrrr!
Don't fuck with Sheriff Trackpants or you'll get a fluffy grey boot where the sun don't shine...
Me: "LOOK IN THAT WINDOW!!! OMG BOOOOOOOBIESSSS!"
Big Bro: "Its so beautiful....."
