Guy Stuff
You sick people!!! Can't get enough of your porn!!! Disgusting!!!
Anyhoo I'm stuck at home sick, and am bored out of my brain. To keep myself entertained I'll going to add a +1 to my post count.
Now in the last week, my face seems to have broken out in blotchy red spots. I don't know why, I haven't been any more unhygienic than I normally am (which is quite), and my lifestyle has remained the same. But for some reason my sensitive skin of which I hate so much, and eczema is playing up. Maybe it's spring, who knows. Either way, it sucks as because I'm so fair skinned, it's pretty damn obvious.
Generally I steal all of Ericas facial products for my own personal use. I like it that way as it will beat any of the crap supermarket shelf items that I normally used prior to meeting her. With all her fancy cleansers and skIIs and tonics and vodkas and whatevers that women splash all over their faces in an attempt to preserve the youthfulness that will always remain their emergency money maker, I would have thought that it's good enough for me. However seeing as I still kept breaking out, she figured that some of her products might be a tad too strong for my tender skin (YOU FRIGGIN' PANSY!).
So we went on a jaunt along to Mecca Cosmetica. Mecca is one of those unique shops which are established for a couple of purposes. One of them is purely a front, it has this pretense of being a place where one would shop for cosmetics. But really, it is this safe haven for women which attempts to repel anyone with a Y chromosome so they may flock together in peace and do god only knows what. Another purpose is to completely and utterly humiliate any male that walks and gawks in confusion at stupidly priced little bottles on shelves because women are just evil, cruel little things.
But I soldiered on. After I shamefully confessed that I wasn't actually accompanying my girl into the store, but in actual fact it was the other way round, she assisted me by recommending a couple of products. She recommended the Intral range by Darphin which to me looked like a various combination of bodily fluids leaked into various bottles. Then slapped with a price tag that looks like in belongs on the menu of a dodgy massage parlour. Geez... $100+ for a bottle of moisturiser??? I'll take my $6 keg of sorbolene cream thanks and have enough change left over to... ohhh I don't know... feed a 10000000000 starving African children for the next decade!
I mean its all truly ridiculous!! What's all this nonsense with serums and gels and toners and what not!!?? Is that all really necessary?? There are more strange liquids here than at a chemical warfare plant! And the prices of these things are absolutely ludicrous!!! It's even more ludicrous than this guy, and that's his real, badly spelt name!
But there is really no limit on the price of vanity, so what the hell. After asking her for the minimum requirements as to what I need to remedy my face so I don't scare chicks away at first glance(any more so than normal), I purchased a cleanser from the sissy Intral range for my sissy sensitive skin. Then she gave me a whole bundle of these cute little bottles.
Now, as a guy, generally I'm forbidden from publicly admitting such things, but I have a way of rationalising it. I used to collect those cute little single serve alcohol bottles. Well actually not cute, I believe cool is more so the word. But these tiny little same bottles and tubes were so damn cute!! The every boys obsession with micro machines many years back, these were no different!
I just want the whole collection now! And I can make a little mini molotov cocktail out of the glass bottles, awesome! Anyway, I'm going to see how long I can make those freebie samples last, then after than, see how I can score more. I'm going to string this whole freebie gig along as long as I can before I finally bite the bullet and sell one of my kidneys just so I can afford some sort of fancy pants facial gobbledegook.
Interesting experience. Let it be said that this cosmetics post will be a once and once only affair. I attribute it to the fact that I am sick, I'm 40% duck at the moment and my thinking capacity reflects that. Now let us never speak of this again.
P.S- I'm not gay.