"Cause you took this too far..."
I wrote so much last night in my journal. Not an online journal. An actual journal. I wrote two entries last night because I could not get to sleep. Well, actually, it wasn't last night, it was this morning. Really early in the morning.
Right now I am pissed. My sister wakes me up like around 10ish to say that I have to call my dad right away. I call him, after hearing his angry message. He yells at me for not answering the phone. I said I was sleeping. He was pissed. Sorry, but I just woke up from 5 hours of sleep, how the fuck am I supposed to hear the phone? Anyway, he started bitching at me saying to find out the office hours of C.O.D. so we can pay, and I told him the payment has to be made by 5pm TODAY. So I just payed over the internet just now, so I'm all set.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent. I had insomniatic tendencies last night/this morning, and could not get to sleep. I kept writing. I was going nuts. I was paranoid, I kept hearing noices and shit. It was pouring this morning, and every time I heard a noise I freaked. I kept writing, then I stopped. Then, I wrote another entry. Maybe I'll paste it on here some time... then again, maybe not.
When I die, I want people to read my journal. I just need to fill it up first, and write in it more often. They can also read my online journals - those are obviously open to the public. My livejournal is the one I've had the longest - since sophomore year - I've been through my ups and downs and it's all in there. Occasionally I like to look back in there and read the old stuff. I can see how I've grown since then - even the way I wrote was different than how I do now.
I'm listening to Relient K's new cd, Mmhmm. I'm listening to "Which to Bury; Us or the Hatchet". I love this song!
Lyrics:
I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget
and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened
And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far
Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that
and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)
what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...
Right now I am pissed. My sister wakes me up like around 10ish to say that I have to call my dad right away. I call him, after hearing his angry message. He yells at me for not answering the phone. I said I was sleeping. He was pissed. Sorry, but I just woke up from 5 hours of sleep, how the fuck am I supposed to hear the phone? Anyway, he started bitching at me saying to find out the office hours of C.O.D. so we can pay, and I told him the payment has to be made by 5pm TODAY. So I just payed over the internet just now, so I'm all set.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent. I had insomniatic tendencies last night/this morning, and could not get to sleep. I kept writing. I was going nuts. I was paranoid, I kept hearing noices and shit. It was pouring this morning, and every time I heard a noise I freaked. I kept writing, then I stopped. Then, I wrote another entry. Maybe I'll paste it on here some time... then again, maybe not.
When I die, I want people to read my journal. I just need to fill it up first, and write in it more often. They can also read my online journals - those are obviously open to the public. My livejournal is the one I've had the longest - since sophomore year - I've been through my ups and downs and it's all in there. Occasionally I like to look back in there and read the old stuff. I can see how I've grown since then - even the way I wrote was different than how I do now.
I'm listening to Relient K's new cd, Mmhmm. I'm listening to "Which to Bury; Us or the Hatchet". I love this song!
Lyrics:
I think you know what I'm getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget
and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened
And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for not
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far
Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that
and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)
what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...