Please allow me to introduce myself... (Snapely edition)
I do this under protest, Miss Ministry Whotsit of the Busybody Commission to Ensure Quality In Education Granger. If you care for elucidation of any of the answers, please refer to #3 below.
FIRST NAME: Severus
AGE: fifty-bloody-three
LOCATION: Use a ruddy Point-Me spell
OCCUPATION: layabout living off my danger money payoff from the Ministry. What do you think I do as these ridiculous forms are only given to the instructors at Hogwarts?
PARTNER: none of your bloody business
KIDS: I refuse to answer this
BROTHERS/SISTERS: what does it matter if I have fifteen or none?
PETS: I haven't had one since my father killed it for our family dinner.
PARENTS: My father is dead and good riddance. My mother lives with her sister in Tooting Bec since his death.
3-5 BIGGEST THINGS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE:
1. None of your business
2. Did you not understand my first response?
3. Sod off
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