i cant pretend for much longer
i cant hide behind the wackyness for much longer, i cant pretend im happy much longer, its a front that sometime soon i know i will explode. im only writign this because i cant sleep, i lay in bed tonight and thoughts of killing myself just popped into my head, so now i know its bad, but i dont know what to do, if i seek professional help then everyone will know, and it will all come out, and i dont want my friends or family to worry about me so they cant know, i just stuck, like this for god knows how long. my life is going nowhere, iv finished university and lifes just stopped, i dont no where to go or what to do from here, i feel so helpless and alone and useless cos no1 other than my parents will employ me. my life is just at such a stand still it would be easier if i was just not here, then i wouldnt be in the way, or the useless unemployed child. im the one who has a degree for fucks sake, yet my brothers the one with the sucess. why do i even bother
why am i even here
whats the point