Just sad

Nov 18, 2008 02:08

I don't know, I'm just trying to stay a float, and I have so much to do, and to focus on and inside my head is Gershwin playing, my scripts stirring to jazz, and spinning around and around. And to learn how to waltz so when an attractive man who knows how to waltz asks me to dance, I can!

I dance well... No use being modest or embarrassed I dance like I know how to have sex (Let's just be honest; when hips rotate and everything follows correctly it's an implication to sex) . I dance like I love everything and everyone around me. I dance because my body needs to move. I love to dance, not choreographed step-turn-kick-turn-step-turn-kick-turn-turn (though that's great, and I like it and I have ideas about how it should look) but I dance, unafraid, unashamed. Funny one of the few things I do in my life where I don't over think it, where I don't stop and ask "does this look right" because I know it does. Why? Well I guess because in my own little world it feels right. I always feel like music commands your body, and your soul falls instep and be it Cream or Fifty Cent or George and Ira Gershwin it can move you, if you let it.

But I do better alone.
I dance with a bit of space around me and that's when I do best I think. I have a little barrier, a bit of a parameter and when people cross the boundaries, I'm not quite sure what to do. I become disarmed. My soul falls out of step, my feet almost lose time, and I almost lose what moved me in the first place. It's not like I want to dance alone all the time but that's what I know how to do. I've been doing it since I was able to to walk.

I wonder how this relates to the rest of my life?
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