On golf
I don't get golf.
OK, it's fair to say I'm not exactly "sport oriented" but I have a special incredulity for golf. I think it's perhaps because it's just so obtuse. It's like when you're a kid and you invent a board game, and it's just got really pointless rules specifically designed to make its inventor look clever; a scoring system you need to study for a week to understand, special cards for this, that and the other just because you wanted to draw them, and amazingly bizarre ways of getting around the scenarios that occur because basically, you're not that good at inventing games.
I mean football and rugby and cricket you can kind of imagine evolving from people having a laugh with a ball and a stick in a field, but golf? I can't really imagine how any natural activity could have arrived at such a bizarre game. Someone must've thought of massacring a bit of landscape and then making it as difficult as possible to get the ball in the hole. I know, let's make them hit it with a stick! No - no - let's put lakes and sandpits in to get in the way..... It's a special sort of twisted mind that came up with golf.
I wonder whether had it not managed to associate itself with the middle class the way it has, and adopt clothing ranges and lifestyle indicating activities would it have lasted five minutes? Probably not. Where it not the lure of hanging out with the in set, or clinching that crucial business deal, would golf clubs have lasted more than a few years? Which other sport is it socially acceptable to practice whilst in an entirely unrelated environment and without the equipment? Do we see rugby players dashing from one end of the office to the other and diving into meeing rooms? No, but it's pretty common for your base level executive to be shuffling from one foot to the other, shifting his eyes from the clasped hands in front of his groin to the horizon and back again whilst mulling something over, or chatting to a colleague.
And on the class thing - I've got to say, I saw the inside of golf club a few months back and I was pretty shocked. This was a fairly highly regarded club with high membership fees, a dress code and a waiting list, and to be honest it looked like a fairly shitty suburban bar. I was expecting all wood panels and fine brandies but no - Tennent's lager on tap and steak pie and chips on basic tables. Clearly a sought after rung on the social ladder there.
Like I say, I don't get golf.
OK, it's fair to say I'm not exactly "sport oriented" but I have a special incredulity for golf. I think it's perhaps because it's just so obtuse. It's like when you're a kid and you invent a board game, and it's just got really pointless rules specifically designed to make its inventor look clever; a scoring system you need to study for a week to understand, special cards for this, that and the other just because you wanted to draw them, and amazingly bizarre ways of getting around the scenarios that occur because basically, you're not that good at inventing games.
I mean football and rugby and cricket you can kind of imagine evolving from people having a laugh with a ball and a stick in a field, but golf? I can't really imagine how any natural activity could have arrived at such a bizarre game. Someone must've thought of massacring a bit of landscape and then making it as difficult as possible to get the ball in the hole. I know, let's make them hit it with a stick! No - no - let's put lakes and sandpits in to get in the way..... It's a special sort of twisted mind that came up with golf.
I wonder whether had it not managed to associate itself with the middle class the way it has, and adopt clothing ranges and lifestyle indicating activities would it have lasted five minutes? Probably not. Where it not the lure of hanging out with the in set, or clinching that crucial business deal, would golf clubs have lasted more than a few years? Which other sport is it socially acceptable to practice whilst in an entirely unrelated environment and without the equipment? Do we see rugby players dashing from one end of the office to the other and diving into meeing rooms? No, but it's pretty common for your base level executive to be shuffling from one foot to the other, shifting his eyes from the clasped hands in front of his groin to the horizon and back again whilst mulling something over, or chatting to a colleague.
And on the class thing - I've got to say, I saw the inside of golf club a few months back and I was pretty shocked. This was a fairly highly regarded club with high membership fees, a dress code and a waiting list, and to be honest it looked like a fairly shitty suburban bar. I was expecting all wood panels and fine brandies but no - Tennent's lager on tap and steak pie and chips on basic tables. Clearly a sought after rung on the social ladder there.
Like I say, I don't get golf.