(no subject)
i tried
and im sorry
i cant do this anymore
trying to be good fails
and i dont have the energyanymore to give half of what ive got.
i wanted to OD that time. god knows i wanted to . and i couldnt. i failed. and i awoke feeling worse then before. i told no one . and the ones i did. mocked me.
i gave you hints
i wanted some help
i even avoided people who were happy just so i wouldnt bring them down
i cant anymore
tonight i begged and isses are larger then life apperantly. i dont want a part of it anymore
i dont want a part of my failure anymore
i dont have the enegery to deal with anything anymore. and thats that.
i really love u all of you
but my life spent
trying to stay asleep more then awake has to stop because
i deny myself want ive wanted all along
escape.
and sitting awake at 8 oclock in the morning isnt working anymore
and i sit here and wonder if im for real . the idea ive been toying with for so many months. and it feels like the clock is ticking and my time to decide has to come.
im so far from reality now that i can never go back . no matter what.
and that in itself should be enough for you . but its not.
i tired to be beaitufil in side and i tried to love.
i wanted to makle it.
and im here now.
eyes read this but they wont get it. and thats a reason in itself.
ive been alone too long now. and i want to say no more.
the amount of pain that i have felt in the last two months cannot even compare to the amount of pain ive reached in life. its gotten worse. snowballed into this huge mass that consumes me.
and i wish to consume.
good night.
and im sorry
i cant do this anymore
trying to be good fails
and i dont have the energyanymore to give half of what ive got.
i wanted to OD that time. god knows i wanted to . and i couldnt. i failed. and i awoke feeling worse then before. i told no one . and the ones i did. mocked me.
i gave you hints
i wanted some help
i even avoided people who were happy just so i wouldnt bring them down
i cant anymore
tonight i begged and isses are larger then life apperantly. i dont want a part of it anymore
i dont want a part of my failure anymore
i dont have the enegery to deal with anything anymore. and thats that.
i really love u all of you
but my life spent
trying to stay asleep more then awake has to stop because
i deny myself want ive wanted all along
escape.
and sitting awake at 8 oclock in the morning isnt working anymore
and i sit here and wonder if im for real . the idea ive been toying with for so many months. and it feels like the clock is ticking and my time to decide has to come.
im so far from reality now that i can never go back . no matter what.
and that in itself should be enough for you . but its not.
i tired to be beaitufil in side and i tried to love.
i wanted to makle it.
and im here now.
eyes read this but they wont get it. and thats a reason in itself.
ive been alone too long now. and i want to say no more.
the amount of pain that i have felt in the last two months cannot even compare to the amount of pain ive reached in life. its gotten worse. snowballed into this huge mass that consumes me.
and i wish to consume.
good night.