(no subject)
I feel like expressing how i really feel.. and i dont care if anyone reads this.. or cares at all.. but its how im letting everything out..
-- if ur not interested now.. just stop reading.. alright..
I hate how i wake up every morning tired n confused.. i just wish i could feel alive.. isnt that wat ur suppose to do, i mean if it was my choice.. id never get outta bed.. until i just wasted away. i feel like theres nothing better to do with my life.
and wats wrong with crying and being depressed, seriously everyone feels like that sometime.. so why make them feel worse.. they're not doing it for attention.. and if u really feel that way, then just shut up.. maybe u can actually help them for once.
i believe that all problems can fall back to something a guy did or said.. because guys are the root of all problems that grls have, trust me.. they are in some way, just dont argue.
Love really does suck, am i right?? pffft.. i hate that when u finally find ur first true love.. the one u wanna be with the rest of ur life.. u get fucked over and left with this tear soaked pillow, covered in mascara and eyeliner thats washed away.. and the worst feeling of lonliness u'll ever have.. it really does suck... its seriously almost as if parts of my heart were ripped out.. i really want them back :( oh well.. maybe sometime..
you knw what else bugs me?? when ppl say shit like "forget about him" ..well its kinda hard to, i mean.. its not that fucking easy to forget love..oh yeah.. "time heals" ... that is such bullshit, who actually believes that!? c'mon... who made that up.. they musta been stoned outta their mind or something. Yeah, Fuck Time.. if at all, time makes it worse.. cuz the thoughts are still lingering.. THEY DONT FUCKING GO AWAY!!
Nights, they arent fair at all.. just sitting there thinking about everything.. how can u not break down!? i dread the night coming, ya knw? its such a horrid feeling... i HATE being alone.. i mean sure i can deal with shit when im around ppl.. but when no1s awake, no1s around.. its too hard..
what happened to sleeping?? i sure wish i could go to bed.. actually fall asleep without crying.. and without the nightmares.. theyre haunting me.. i swear, lately.. i just wish i had sleeping pills or something.. i dont feel like having another ... dream about things i miss, its torture.. :( i dont look foward to sleeping anymore..
I dont want to be judged! fine, whatever.. u dont like what i do or say, then y bother with me? im just not in the mood for ppl telling me what i should and shouldnt do.. ITS MY LIFE.. why doesnt any1 understand it.. yes, advice is fine.. but dont try to control me, i dont like that..
If you're gonna label me, stop now.. cuz theres no possible way u can.. u cant describe me... in a way im indescribable.. yepp.. ive decided LABELS SUCK! stop trying to fit into a category.. just be urself.. its much better anyways. oh yeah.. and just because some1 goes on and on about shit.. it doesnt mean they are emo.. but nice try.
i hate how when ppl read this.. somehow theyre gonna get offended, for who knws why.. its just my feelings.. and nothing is directed at any1.. sigh.. people love to make a big deal outta everything, just let it go.. it might add a day to ur life.
I constantly worry about everything, even if i dont want to.. but of course i do anyway.. its gets u so stressed out... fuck stress.. why the fuck is it around!?
Parents-- is it just me, or do they really love to make their childrens' lives more and more difficult.. even if they dont mean it.. they still do! all the friggen work they give us to do, making us try to be perfect.. well guess what, I AM NOT PERFECT.. nor will i ever be, so give up on that dream.. u cant make me be perfect!! plus, who wants to have the burden of being perfect.. i sure dont.
What am i suppose to do, when no1 is awake.. and i have the urge to do something incredibly stupid, u knw what i mean.. just sit here waiting for some1 to talk to?? when every1 is sleeping, and i just lay here.. nothing there to stop me, except for the small amount of hope i have left in me. its getting increasingly harder to deal with it.
Suicide, such a broad topic.. recently some1 i knew decided that was her only choice.. her funeral is on saturday.. :( i mean, yeah i feel like that its the only way i can feel better, but then i think.. is it worth it?? who knws who i might hurt by leaving, then again, does any1 truly care? eh.. i guess. so yeah, i'll go on trying.. and trying.. to stay here, even if im unhappy.
There is one thing that makes me feel.. music.. i seriously doubt i could live without it.. just singing along to songs that mean alot to me.. just makes me feel so much better.. just reading lyrics all the time, finding how i feel.. music really does express emotions.
Yeah, so I'm just a normal teenager, right? Ehh.. this helped a little.. i wonder if any1 actually read this.. oh well, i dont care. I'm leavin for now.. Cya.
*JeSsica*
-- if ur not interested now.. just stop reading.. alright..
I hate how i wake up every morning tired n confused.. i just wish i could feel alive.. isnt that wat ur suppose to do, i mean if it was my choice.. id never get outta bed.. until i just wasted away. i feel like theres nothing better to do with my life.
and wats wrong with crying and being depressed, seriously everyone feels like that sometime.. so why make them feel worse.. they're not doing it for attention.. and if u really feel that way, then just shut up.. maybe u can actually help them for once.
i believe that all problems can fall back to something a guy did or said.. because guys are the root of all problems that grls have, trust me.. they are in some way, just dont argue.
Love really does suck, am i right?? pffft.. i hate that when u finally find ur first true love.. the one u wanna be with the rest of ur life.. u get fucked over and left with this tear soaked pillow, covered in mascara and eyeliner thats washed away.. and the worst feeling of lonliness u'll ever have.. it really does suck... its seriously almost as if parts of my heart were ripped out.. i really want them back :( oh well.. maybe sometime..
you knw what else bugs me?? when ppl say shit like "forget about him" ..well its kinda hard to, i mean.. its not that fucking easy to forget love..oh yeah.. "time heals" ... that is such bullshit, who actually believes that!? c'mon... who made that up.. they musta been stoned outta their mind or something. Yeah, Fuck Time.. if at all, time makes it worse.. cuz the thoughts are still lingering.. THEY DONT FUCKING GO AWAY!!
Nights, they arent fair at all.. just sitting there thinking about everything.. how can u not break down!? i dread the night coming, ya knw? its such a horrid feeling... i HATE being alone.. i mean sure i can deal with shit when im around ppl.. but when no1s awake, no1s around.. its too hard..
what happened to sleeping?? i sure wish i could go to bed.. actually fall asleep without crying.. and without the nightmares.. theyre haunting me.. i swear, lately.. i just wish i had sleeping pills or something.. i dont feel like having another ... dream about things i miss, its torture.. :( i dont look foward to sleeping anymore..
I dont want to be judged! fine, whatever.. u dont like what i do or say, then y bother with me? im just not in the mood for ppl telling me what i should and shouldnt do.. ITS MY LIFE.. why doesnt any1 understand it.. yes, advice is fine.. but dont try to control me, i dont like that..
If you're gonna label me, stop now.. cuz theres no possible way u can.. u cant describe me... in a way im indescribable.. yepp.. ive decided LABELS SUCK! stop trying to fit into a category.. just be urself.. its much better anyways. oh yeah.. and just because some1 goes on and on about shit.. it doesnt mean they are emo.. but nice try.
i hate how when ppl read this.. somehow theyre gonna get offended, for who knws why.. its just my feelings.. and nothing is directed at any1.. sigh.. people love to make a big deal outta everything, just let it go.. it might add a day to ur life.
I constantly worry about everything, even if i dont want to.. but of course i do anyway.. its gets u so stressed out... fuck stress.. why the fuck is it around!?
Parents-- is it just me, or do they really love to make their childrens' lives more and more difficult.. even if they dont mean it.. they still do! all the friggen work they give us to do, making us try to be perfect.. well guess what, I AM NOT PERFECT.. nor will i ever be, so give up on that dream.. u cant make me be perfect!! plus, who wants to have the burden of being perfect.. i sure dont.
What am i suppose to do, when no1 is awake.. and i have the urge to do something incredibly stupid, u knw what i mean.. just sit here waiting for some1 to talk to?? when every1 is sleeping, and i just lay here.. nothing there to stop me, except for the small amount of hope i have left in me. its getting increasingly harder to deal with it.
Suicide, such a broad topic.. recently some1 i knew decided that was her only choice.. her funeral is on saturday.. :( i mean, yeah i feel like that its the only way i can feel better, but then i think.. is it worth it?? who knws who i might hurt by leaving, then again, does any1 truly care? eh.. i guess. so yeah, i'll go on trying.. and trying.. to stay here, even if im unhappy.
There is one thing that makes me feel.. music.. i seriously doubt i could live without it.. just singing along to songs that mean alot to me.. just makes me feel so much better.. just reading lyrics all the time, finding how i feel.. music really does express emotions.
Yeah, so I'm just a normal teenager, right? Ehh.. this helped a little.. i wonder if any1 actually read this.. oh well, i dont care. I'm leavin for now.. Cya.
*JeSsica*