yet another shitty day to add to my shitty life..
I'm so sore its not freaking funny. My sister is threatening to kill herself again.. makes me even more depressed to hear that.. she was always the optimistic one who helped me out.. now shes with a fucking biggot and hates me b/c I'm lesbian.. both my mom and sister have changed.. my life is going down hill slipping farther and farther away from me while my wish for death is becoming greater and greater as the days pass.. I have no one I'm so completely and utterly alone. It seems everyone is learning how to post pictures and I don't know how.. I would like to know if anyone will tell me how.. oh fuck me running backwards.. my sister is now throwing up in the bathroom.. lovely..I feel so helpless so worthless.. I feel like I don't even belong here anymore.. I try to tell ppl I need help the words never come out right.. and they don't help me.. I can't just blurt out HELP ME tho I try and wish I could I'm not the type to ask for help often but when I do.. its something bad.. something is terribly wrong. Right now its something bad something is going terribly wrong and I have no one to run to no one to ask for help. I don't know what to do anymore.. I feel like I would be better off dead.. that ppl would go on living their lives much better with me gone. No one tells me otherwise.. On better news.. I went to drivers ed today. I have to do my driving test on friday and then I have to do 3 ranges and then hopefully I'll have my license depending on how well I do on my driving test. I hope I do good.. I hope I pass. I would say wish me luck but no one will. everyone just critizes my driving and makes me feel like I can't do anything right.. both gf's of mine who I drove with didn't say anything good.. all they said was bad shit.. I'm sorry but I know I drive better than that! I haven't gotten in a wreck have I? No.. I know ppl who went with their parents who got in a wreck and I haven't.. so stop fucking critzing me and tell me something good for a fucking change.. make me feel like I'm worth something.. I'm tired of ppl always putting me down.. on everything I do. I'm a bad mother I suck at driving I'm not a good girlfriend I'm not aa good sister I'm not a good daughter.. there fucking happy?! ya'll got what you wanted. I feel like shit and like I'm nothing to everybody.. well fuck you.. thanks for making me want to die even more.. I would say its all your faults if I end up dead.. but its not. it would be mine.. but just know you contributed to it.. nothing matters anymore.. my life has fallen out of my hands and I can't control it any longer.. I have no life no friends.. I'm here alone and alone is how I am going to be for the rest of my fucking life.. lets hope its a fucking short one eh?!